Heightened Creativity

I have been workshopping some scenes out of my screenplay for acting class. The day after I ejaculated, I wrote a scene that was to be performed that night. I was not particularly inspired or energized, and the scene was more expository and workmanlike. Needless to say, the feedback was that it was too long-winded. No laughs and probably a thumbs down.

A week later after abstaining. I re-wrote the scene and was able to trim and tap into dialogue that got some good laughs. The scene was very well received! Even better, a girl from my class came up to me and told me how much she enjoyed it. She gave me her number. Whoa. I found her moderately attractive but even more so when she seemed to be impressed with me. We will probably get together next week.

So- all I can say is that there are real creative and social benefits you can reap, no matter how minor. I start to spark that childlike sense of wonder and enthusiasm again. I also have to agree again and again that you draw more real women to you when 1) you do not ejaculate or come close and 2) you put that sexual energy into a goal, no matter how big or small.

Better Performance

When my addiction is active, I give up on my tasks a lot easier because I know that instant pleasure is obtainable.

When I have my addiction a little under control, I can put more into my work because my motivation is stronger. My reward system isn't so tweaked.

I took an exam today and did very well. While in my active addiction I would have never given that much effort because I would have put things off, or felt bad about myself, or just been too busy pursuing my fix. Addictions are so time consuming. In the past, I have bombed many tests because I was so trapped in this negative thinking cycle. Having a little time away from my addiction frees me up to take care of some tasks and put high quality effort into my work. This quality of work requires a freed brain that can engage in creative thinking to solve problems. My addict brain is lazy and goes for the mechanical and routine. Creativity requires energy and spontaneity which is consistent with being in the present moment. I deprive myself of this in my addiction. Its not only the addiction that comes under control form abstaining, the depression and incessant self-defeating thoughts come under control too. If Im in full control of my situation, the times when Im not only abstaining, but REALLY taking care of my health by getting exercise and taking care of the rest of my life, then recovery and abstaining takes on its own momentum and its not as grueling.

Perception Shifts

Also see, Erectile Dysfunction and Porn Use