A realization on actual amount of sexual desire needed to perform Karezza vs usual lustful sex

Something I may have realized while performing Karezza is that I have been off balance with regards to the minds expectations of just how heated up one must get to have relaxed intercourse.
All of the pre-karezza sexual experiences have been rooted in lust and accompanied by surges of cravingness which my mind seemed to think was necessary to perform properly. I was even convinced that proper erections needed to source out of this type of energy which can come on very quickly, frantically and end before one knows it. Looking at it now it seems that the goal was strictly the payoff of huge surges in nuerochemicals such as dopamine resulting in orgasm which seems to have become an addictive drive.

Another interesting thing is that dreams that have sexual content seemed to be very frantic in nature, and, already with just a few sessions of karezza the sexual dream content has also shifted and is slower just like the waking state with karezza. At first I thought that sexual dreams were frantic in nature because it is coming from the animal drive and I notice that many animals seem to have sex in a quick and frantic nature, which may be true, but, I also think it was a reflection of the way I may have been "doing" it as well. I am looking forward to seeing how these dreams evolve.

What is pleasant to find out is it seems naturally one does not even really need to be too concerned with feeling too much or too little attraction/arousal, as nature seems to balance itself out and one does not really need to "lust" after someone to enjoy gentle intercourse karezza style. The required amount of "desire" can spontaneously occur when the time is right in order to gently connect in union, with no need of anticipation.

Also, without any lustful energy it is more likely that the relaxed state will allow more of the neruchemicals that are responsible for helping one fall in love, and, just find little things about your mate very loving and attractive from a bonding point of view. The final result may be a shift in where the energy is sourcing itself from which would be a genuine level of Love as opposed to strong desire/lust. This could then be the space from where true Spiritual union may occur through the Loving act itself.