Sexual Energy

Submitted by Cole on Thu, 2010-02-11 22:46
Community topics: 
orgasm
sex
energy

I wanted to get an overview of folks responses to a question/observation I've had.

I've heard much of my life about avoiding having orgasms builds a "sexual energy." I recall at one sales meeting that it was mentioned as a way to spend your energy on selling than on sex, and that sex drained your energy for that from you. And there are comments on this site about the relationship of energy gained by avoiding orgasm.

My thought up until now has always been, "That makes no sense." I mean, I don't notice any loss of energy. I feel just as energetic, maybe more so, after I have an orgasm as before. As a matter of fact, sometimes I feel I need to do it simply so my mind will stop thinking about that and I can get some other things done!

I think the issue for me has always been, I don't see the connection. And I mean from a scientific/logical standpoint. So far, it seems I've heard simple statements saying its true, and anecdotal evidence to that effect. But no one has ever said, "Here's why it happens from a biological standpoint."

Now, I would imagine that draining sperm out, would kick in your body to create more. I could see that would take some biological energy to create more. But it would be hard to imagine that it alone would account for any noticeable loss of energy. Maybe some if the process requires sucking energy from other bodily processes, like a full stomach working overtime will make one sleepy because it uses up a lot of blood to process all that food. But I've never heard that refilling the sperm that have moved on to be that big a drain on bodily energy.

Now the process explained on this site might suggest such loss is really due to the physical depression that can accompany the post-O affect chemically. So I can see how that would affect some, if they orgasm regularly, to keep them down energy wise. But sometimes people seem to talk like it is more than that. So my question would be, what do you understand is the reason behind this energy loss?

But some appear to talk about sexual energy not expended in orgasms as helping them to attract women, be more open to them. I can see that to some degree. But what would you attribute that to?

Now, what I may find once I'm able to go without it for three weeks or more, is that I do have more energy than I've ever had before. Since I've had orgasms on average daily for most of my life, I would never know. But it did make me think of one other thing. Is there studies showing what these chemcials do with someone who has an orgrams daily? You've shown the general cycle as being a three week period, but what is the general affect the more frequently it is done?

Reason I ask, is because I'm wondering at some point, does the body "get used to it" and adjust accordingly. It seems to have a capacity for adjusting itself to equilibrium. That's why generally someone addicted to a drug will require more and more of it to get the same high as before, because their body keeps nullifying the chemical affect, attempting to bring the body back to a normal state. So I'm wondering, as in my case of averaging a daily orgasm, if my body hasn't pretty much adjusted and how I feel now will pretty much be how I feel after having abstained for three weeks? I guess I'll know for me when I test that out successfully. But like how I can drink coffee and then go right to sleep without any problem, it seems possible my body over the years has adjusted to my frequent orgasms, and the chemical imbalance, if there, isn't registering. I understand there may be subtle differences too. But I'm wondering if anyone has measured all these chemicals on those who have orgasm regularly, over a period of time, and what effect it has on them? I'm betting you've already written that and I simply forgot. smiley

Comments

Submitted by dutchhollander on Thu, 2010-02-11 23:47.

People can only begin to understand it all, there is so much you cannot possibly understand the complete function of the human body. there is such a large drain from orgasm because its not just the release of sperm... theres alot more also other hormones being created aswell as the nutrients required to produce sperm and semen. Your essentially producing more cells but specialized ones and even some nutrients are concentrated heavily in it and it is like the healing process... theres so many aspects, even if you took a look at semen it has many functions from allowing exit from the penis to protecting sperm from the acidic environment of the vagina to being broken down inside triggering hormone release.

Submitted by Rockhardington on Fri, 2010-02-12 00:45.

There is a way of thinking about this that says that "the less you engage in orgasms, the more energy you have". And that there is mystical energy running through your body, etc. This is probably an oversimplification, but I can see how someone might think that from what I have experienced with this. If low energy corresponds with nervous disorders, depression, etc. and higher energy corresponds with wholeness, clarity, etc, then maybe hat way of thinking about it could make sense.

There are also a lot of factors involved and a lot of things unknown, so it is a hard thing to study. Probably, the best thing to do is to experiment with it yourself for a while. You will probably see a difference in your thinking, it seems like most people here who have tried this experiment and have had a problem with this addiction have experienced something positive from it. What it is exactly probably wont be known in full for a long time, but if you start to experience the benefits of it, you probably wont even care.

Submitted by dutchhollander on Fri, 2010-02-12 01:32.

all you need to see is that immensely strains the body that the process of reproducing like it is in pregnancy it takes alot and you see it even at this stage.... it is a complex process the transfer of energy. Its like taking a look at a pipe open at two ends if you forced water through one end it will come out the other with no resistance but if you had a hole somewhere along some water will inevitably go through leaving less water to come out the other end. thats what this is, when you no longer have a drain on the energy theres more to be focused elsewhere. less strain more gain.

Submitted by Seeker on Fri, 2010-02-12 02:47.

Well I went over 4 weeks without orgasm not too long ago. I really did not notice that big of a difference till I had an orgasm again. Then thins seemed to crash. Hard to explain really. I just felt like crap that first day. low "energy" is a good way to put it. I did not realize just how much better I felt and was able to deal with things till I had that orgasm after over 4 weeks without.

So the only way to really tell how it is going to effect you is to go at least 4 weeks and most of the stuff on here shows at least 6 or maybe as many as 8 to really see how things work for you.

about the always thinking about. I know what you mean. when I first started that is all I could think about while trying not to do it. I know after you get a few weeks behind you that gets much less. You do not think about it as much. I did obsess about the number of days maybe too much. I did not think about m/p/o so much though after a few weeks.

good luck
wishing you well
Be Safe
James

Submitted by Amari on Fri, 2010-02-12 05:31.

I think probably the reason for your confusion is that people here tend to mix scientific and spiritual concepts. The concept of "sexual energy" is a spiritual one, coming mostly from Hinduism and Buddhism. It's not meant to have any clear physical equivalent- it's just the subtle energy you use up with sexual activity and orgasm in particular.

Science would have no concept of "sexual energy," other than maybe the calories you burn while having sex smiley. It's true that you use up some energy making sperm, but you keep making more whether you ejaculate or not, so I think the total difference is not that great, unless your diet was especially low in the particular nutrients in which sperm are rich. Our scientific idea about why people tend to have less energy after orgasm has more to do with levels of hormones such as dopamine, prolactin, and testosterone. It's not so much that you don't have as much energy, and that you don't *feel as much motivation.* But depending on people's particular physiology, they may notice a change more or less that others.

Submitted by Reggie on Fri, 2010-02-12 08:11.

I tend to agree with Amari here

Amari wrote:

It's not so much that you don't have as much energy, and that you don't *feel as much motivation.*

In my case, while I am indulging non-stop I do tend to brush aside all other chores and other responsibilities as if they were of no avail and as if its no use anyway..the negativity feeds on itself and slowly I feel sluggish...while when I do restrain myself enough there seems to be a more ready willingness to complete the tasks no matter how trivial which seems to suggest an abundance of energy...it would be more right to call it "motivation" than energy as pointed out...

Marnia's picture

Submitted by Marnia on Fri, 2010-02-12 11:41.

the neurochemical cycle after orgasm affects each person differently, for a lot of reasons. I've known people who feel hyper and can't sleep if they orgasm a lot. And I've known people who turn into couch potatoes. I've also noticed that although Gary and I have familiar patterns in our own cycles, we, too, experience variation.

The kind of research you'd like to see...we'd also like to see. Fact is, in the West, it's not yet possible to ask test subjects to go without orgasm in order to compare, so very little is known about the longer-term after effects of orgasm in humans. We're intrigued that the only research we found showing that the neurochemical cycle is at least 7 day's in men (after ejaculation) comes from China. There's evidence of a 15-day cycle in rats, and rats are uncannily close to humans in some ways. That is, a lot of testing is done on rat brains, which later leads to drugs used on humans for limbic system interventions.

One change that shows up in rats is a decrease in androgen receptors (which correlates with their changes in libido). Androgen receptors respond to testosterone, so if something like that happens in humans, it would account for subtle changes in perception, mood, longing for "extra" sexual stimulation because one is feeling "flatter" than usual, etc.

There are no doubt a host of other changes that simply aren't measured yet. That's why Gary got excited about this recent research: http://www.reuniting.info/node/3320 It could be another possible way to look at receptor activity after orgasm/sex without it.

And quite apart from whatever "usually" happens in the human brain after orgasm (which may also, on average, differ depending upon gender), there are always "outliers": people who don't react like most of the pack. This variety serves evolution, making us more adaptable as a species. So, Cole, when all other men stop making babies because they're only fertilizing computer screens...your offspring will still be in business. smiley

That said, a big balancing factor is the rest of your life...your loving mate, regular contact with her, close family, etc. All these things balance neurochemistry, and have been shown to decrease susceptibility to addiction. Single guys struggling with porn addiction would *naturally* have a tougher time finding balance. Biology WANTS us in the baby business, after all.

Marnia's picture

Submitted by Marnia on Fri, 2010-02-12 12:26.

All the evidence we've found, as well as accounts from traditions all over the planet hinting at the potential in careful management of sexual energy, are in Cupid's Poisoned Arrow. We specifically do *not* emphasize the traditional Daoist/Hindu explanation that "sperm=energy," as we think the effects on the brain are a more complete explanation. For one thing, women often notice changes, too, especially if they look further out in time. Second, even the ancient Chinese described sex without orgasm as "nourishing the brain."

A lot of the "loss of energy" feelings could simply be the product of low dopamine. Paradoxically, that can also explain the familiar hunger for "hotter" stimuli. This is the point people often miss. Not all libido is the same. Some is our basic "urge to merge." (Thumbs UP to that!)

But some of what passes for libido is simply a desire to counter the effects of too much orgasm - because our brain is temporarily desensitized (dysregulated dopamine a likely culprit here). No wonder it's confusing. It can be hard to know your "natural" libido until you've recalibrated the brain for a bit with a refreshing smiley period of abstinence (or in your case, moderation).

Submitted by Cole on Fri, 2010-02-12 13:51.

Thanks for all the good input. A lot to think about here. And how it might relate.

Submitted by Seeker on Fri, 2010-02-12 15:16.

Another thing. As I was saying in my blog I was doing some type of exercise all day to burn off the "energy". Well I started doing push ups at work with some of the guys there on and off. I have kept doing them but some times we are not all in the same area at break some times for weeks. Well when I started out with them I was at like 15 and I was struggling. Well today is the first time I have been able to do them with these guys since I have gone 60 days with just a couple orgasm/ejaculations.

Well the guys were shocked at how many push ups I could do already. One of them has been doing workouts since he was in school. they all commented on not seeing anyone increase from where I was at about 2 months ago to what I am at now.

Not sure if that proves anything but it is getting easy to do them compared to where I was at. from about 20 to 25 in one day and that was all I could do to about 200 today (not all at one time smiley ). Maybe not superman but a big improvement over in a couple months.

Marnia's picture

Submitted by Marnia on Fri, 2010-02-12 15:48.

This is why humans have such a hard time realizing that how they manage their sexual energy matters. The benefits show up *elsewhere* in our lives. We credit them to other things, just as we ascribe our 'decay' to other things without ever considering our sex lives.

Only by extended experiments and careful observation can you restore balance and find the right balance.

I was a WAY slower learner than you, by the way. smiley But just as amazed at the unexpected improvements in my life. That's why I had to write a book about this...even though there's way more to learn.

Submitted by Rachel on Fri, 2010-02-12 15:57.

This forum is so good for me because it really forces me to think about life! I find myself dwelling over some of these topics for days on end~

And some days my thoughts are this (with all due respect to Marnia's research!) - - Solo orgasms for men might possibly release energy or "chi" that cannot be recaptured at the time. Orgasms with the partner you love allows the energy to be given back to you, but only if you are involved in lots of energy-giving bonding behaviors.

I know so, so, so many women who have no interest whatsoever in sex with their husbands, yet their husbands are still *very* interested in sex with them, so it is like a one-sided Cooledge effect. And I have to wonder if possibly it's because the husbands aren't giving the women the sexual energy they need though bonding behaviors. Could it be that "normal sex" (goal-oriented, not karezza) drains all of the energy/yin out of the women and they have nothing left to give the husbands.

And in turn, with no yin from the wives, the husbands turn to other sources (porn) in order to feel relief?

And yes, I realize there are instances where the tables are turned and the men do not want sex and the women do, and perhaps it's due to the same reasons?

rediscovered

Submitted by Cole on Fri, 2010-02-12 23:49.

what she thought about having sex without having a goal of reaching orgasm. She jokingly replied that we already do that. Which is true in one sense, because there have been numerous times in the past that I don't get there. But still, the "goal" was to get there, and there was disappointment when we didn't get there.

So I asked her why she acted disappointed in those times that I didn't climax? I think her initial reason was closer to home, that it just felt like i had finished, that it was complete. But then she added that when I don't get there, it goes on forever. So she likes it when I get there and its done.

Like I said, overall, she's not as geared toward sex as I am. That alone has taught me contentment, the hard way. But, I think she may not be realizing the "gentle" side of it. If I did it right, it would probably bring her along. I'll need to read up on that, and get the book. smiley

Submitted by Rachel on Sat, 2010-02-13 07:11.

"Like I said, overall, she's not as geared toward sex as I am."

You might be really surprised at what lurks inside your wife, Cole. If it hasn't been spiritually fulfilling for her over the years, then wanting to "getting it over with" is understandable (I know this from my own experience).

It's really going to take a whole shift in your mindset to lovemaking to get her to where she can't get enough of you. But it can happen!!

rediscovered

Marnia's picture

Submitted by Marnia on Sat, 2010-02-13 11:26.

There are free books on Karezza at this site, and some relevant excerpts, too.

http://www.reuniting.info/wisdom/free_online_text_karezza_male_continenc...

Everyone has a slightly different take on it, so don't hesitate to sculpt your own. smiley

Submitted by Cole on Sat, 2010-02-13 12:41.

You may be very correct, RD. Time will tell if I can put this all into place. Thanks for the info Marnia.