40 Days and 40 Nights

Submitted by skeptic on Mon, 2010-03-15 08:25
Community topics: 
marriage
Abstaining

I hear this is an awful movie but I have never seen it. In any event, I have made it this long with no intercourse or orgasm and my relationship has improved. At this point, my wife does not feel good and has a low sex drive. I don't want to try to have an intense experience right now, and we have mutually agreed to stay with this for at least a few more weeks.

This has been tough at points but I/we have learned a lot. For this next stage, I want to try to become more calm and focused. Part of me is not always accepting of the phase I am in. I want to try to recirculate my energy without feeling repressed.
I also want to relax and not overly focus on this project. I am still not calm enough when I am with my wife. I don't feel deprived but I am too aware that I am not having sex.

My goal is to be less impulsive about the Internet, and we have taken steps to correct this. I might try to step up my dabbling in Yoga.

Comments

Submitted by Brick.2nd.GiG on Mon, 2010-03-15 08:31.

Yes, a very poor film. After 40 days, the sex-and-orgasm abstaining main character is hallucinating breasts on everything he sees and has chronic erections. The movie supports the perception that life without orgasm is fundamentally destabilized, and that orgasm is required for a healthy existence, both inter- and intra-personally. There is one relatively positive message though: indiscriminate casual sex was the cause of the protagonists initial psychological breakdown that prompted him to experiment with chastity.

Marnia's picture

Submitted by Marnia on Mon, 2010-03-15 11:10.

could try some of the "solo practices" *with* your wife. http://www.reuniting.info/node/3299

When is PeeWee Skeptic due to put in an appearance?

Submitted by skeptic on Mon, 2010-03-15 11:48.

PeeWee is due at the end of the month. My wife as nursed our previous kids for extended periods of time and I wonder how the prolactin will impact things this time around. We are going to take the recovery slooooooow.

I am interested also in different Eastern practices. I like what I have read of certain Taoist ideas of balance versus being too extreme to one side or the other.

By the way, I almost had an O while dreaming over the weekend which hasn't happened in YEARS. It's strange that it was an anxiety rather than erotic dream.

Marnia's picture

Submitted by Marnia on Mon, 2010-03-15 11:57.

is the key concept. It's just that most of us have spent many years very out of balance...without even realizing it. It's easy to do in the current cultural (?) climate. smiley

I sometimes had similar dreams. I'd be trying to open a window in my dream (or something equally un-erotic) and wake up having an orgasm. Oh well. smiley

Submitted by skeptic on Mon, 2010-03-15 11:59.

I was trying to make it to a deposition on time...

Marnia's picture

Submitted by Marnia on Mon, 2010-03-15 12:01.

You really know how to have a good time. smiley