Day 3

Submitted by Present on Tue, 2010-03-30 12:47
Community topics: 
porn recovery

Well, day 3 started with the need to orgasm, whilst I was half asleep. Woke up in considerable physical discomfort!

So I masturbated, and use fantasy a little to get things going, but it was gently sensual rather than pornographic in content. Felt no urge to turn up the volume mentally, was just enjoying taking my time.

As I reached close to orgasm, I switched off the fantasy and focussed on my body. The resulting orgasm was quite similar to the feeling you get when you have a very full bladder and are finally able to relieve yourself. Very pleasant, but ,much gentler than the usual fireworks.

I've decided to gently retrain my mind to seek reward from emotional / sensual connection, rather than visual stimulation. Much healthier.

I'm really glad that I chose to embark on this now, as things really blew up at home with my wife / baby - it's great to have the presence to focus on sorting things out, rather than having porn as an alley to escape into. I also feel much more "in integrity", which gives me a lot more power to deal with things that come up.

Comments

Submitted by Poet on Tue, 2010-03-30 14:27.

Hi Present,

You have a good name. It's a reminder to be present, in the moment, in the here and now, rather than on the rutted road escaping to fantasy.

At the end of the day, relationships are what we have. Shifting the focus to wife/baby was the right thing to do. I know you know that.

P.

Marnia's picture

Submitted by Marnia on Wed, 2010-03-31 07:04.

and your body/mind will show you what you need to know. When orgasm is too frequent/intense, it makes you increasingly horny/dissatisfied. I know this is counter-intuitive, but it's right on target, given the way that reward circuitry works.

Submitted by Present on Wed, 2010-03-31 11:59.

Thanks! That's one of thing things that will be very interesting to observe.