Day 4

Had sleep deprived night due to child, and had trouble getting to sleep.

Tried the masturbation without orgasm thing last night, which was quite comforting (watching our child and learning about sleep associations, this is probably one I still have from infancy), with no fantasy, and drifted off (without orgasm).

However, woke up this morning very drowsily and brought self to orgasm, purely out of habit, and partly to give me an excuse not to get out of bed. (I'm very vulnerable to running along the old tramlines when I'm half-asleep, not just sexually.) Did fantasise this time for most of it, but again sensual rather than pornographic.

That was unnecessary, and I feel drained of energy today - may be due to sleep deprivation, but I suspect too frequent orgasms also played a part.

Will resist urge tomorrow and get straight up.

Other things I've observed:

-I feel a much bigger rush of affectionate warmth when cuddling baby than I remember.
-An interesting one re: porn. The shop round the corner always has porn magazines on the top shelf, which my eyes have always been drawn to in the past. I noticed they weren't as much today.

Still keeping to my no-porn rule. Don't miss it much, although I just have to watch my autopilot whenever I mean to type a domain name which was similar to one of the sites I visited! I know I could use web-blocking software, but I'm keen to stick to this one through self-discipline alone. The accountability of the blog here helps a lot.

Thanks to all the commenters