How do I pick a partner?

"Oh, there was no chemistry with him." "We have great chemistry!" etc. We are all looking for the right chemistry... but now we're starting to realize that we don't want chemistry - at least not the type that merely drives impulsive fertilization behavior! Bah!

So... how can you be sexual with someone you are not sexually attracted to? Here's what worked for me. Mostly in life we focus on what doesn't work about situations, people, partners, work, etc. Instead, find a man you have a strong emotional bond with, and start to look at what IS attractive about him, and ONLY focus on that.

Since what you focus on expands, hopefully, the one or two things you find attractive will grow. I met someone I was not at all attracted to, but spent a lot of energy ONLY focusing on what was attractive (in his case it was his calves. Yep. he had nice calves, and that was it!) but soon, it was effortless to find many things attractive about him. That could be the magic of the