Day 24 - still hanging in there

Submitted by Present on Mon, 2010-04-19 12:26
Community topics: 
porn recovery

It's been an up and down few weeks. Stuff has been very stormy in my personal life, but despite a few "near misses" on the porn front, I haven't had a full-blown relapse.

Interestingly, I came close today, but looking at some of the stuff I used to masturbate to, just doesn't arouse interest any more.

I find normal 'sexy' images of women to be erotic, more so than before - I had definitely become desensitised, that seems to be rebalancing slowly.

6 more days until my experiment is complete, and I'm happy with the results so far. It's good to be getting free of the 'pull' of pornography use.

I am considering looking at reducing masturbation frequency now - at the moment I average once a day, usually driven by 'blue balls'. What I have noticed is that if I go to more than that, I feel wiped out immediately afterwards.

The once daily (sometimes less) is much nicer than when my brain was hyper stimulated by porn (then sometimes I would go a few days without, but quite often masturbate up to 3 times a day, which never left me feeling good.). I wonder what would happen if I managed to reduce it further?

Comments

Marnia's picture

Submitted by Marnia on Mon, 2010-04-19 17:51.

Glad you're pleased with your progress.

Submitted by Rockhardington on Tue, 2010-04-20 01:30.

that's cool that you are feeling the difference. That's probably one of the most important parts of this recovery. Addictions have a tendency to stay hidden, when you are aware of your ups and downs, you can start to make the conndctions. Life is so much better without porn, the more time you spend away from it, the more you appreciate the little things in life again.
The blue balls will go away when your mind and body starts to cycle down, you're used to being on overdrive for a long time. Also, fantasy could be contributing to some of this. Porn is a kind of sexual fantasy, your mind is going to grasp for that too. Keep being observant of how you feel and it will all fall into place.
Good luck with this, it's painfully worth it.

Courage is knowing what not to fear.
-Plato