Home › forums › General issues › Male - Female Issues

I told you that's not so easy , back again from start

Mon, 2010-05-03 06:33 — simpleton

Hi every body ,

I told you that its not so easy Eye-wink . Last time i could pull it to 18 days , well for me that's a great achievement (previously it was max a week or so ). I got super confident just after i crossed 12 days but after about two week , it started to pain around my groin . So i had no choice , Evil kind of excuse . The pain was real , just after releasing there was so much of relief
As JRsun also mentioned in his blog ,for me too there were some fantasies building up after two weeks and that developed lot of pressure.
But the good thing is i did not feel the POIS that much Smiling . This probably was because the system was able to reboot i guess ... Well i see lot of relapses happening here . Guys you are not focussing right , for me this time its going to be 40 days for sure Eye-wink . Please wish me good luck as i have a long journey to cover ............ Smiling

"God helps those who help themselves" ... God what are you waiting for?? i am doing my best here ...

‹ Penis Enlarging Pills - Do They Really Increase Your Penis Size? Honest Confession ›
Mon, 2010-05-03 06:44 — JRsun76
JRsun76's picture

That pain in the groin is

That pain in the groin is hard to get past. Its like clockwork though around the two week mark. I have gone through milder versions of it and have managed to get through it. At most it lasts a few hours and its not and issue anymore. Its like the body is exerting its last hold on you before you start to get out of that cycle. Try pushing through next time, it hurts, but it does go away soon. But the fantasy doesnt help at all. Fantasy makes this a lot harder, I got sucked into it big time this last attempt. We have all of these tools, we just need to learn to use them.

Courage is knowing what not to fear.
-Plato

Mon, 2010-05-03 22:02 — Amari

Groin pain

Have you ever considered that the root cause of the pain might be trigger points in your groin or other muscles? Here's some examples: http://www.painwhisperer.com/ptpath/ptpath/ptpath/groinpain.html

Tue, 2010-05-04 05:53 — simpleton

hey nice info

That's new info for me ....don't know if that is the case . For me it happens like this , when i am abstaining my mind tries to pull me back into O thing somehow .Initially it show some flash backs but when i do not give into this ,after few more days it some how starts up with strong fantasies and uncontrollably the body gets prepared for releases. Its almost out .Mind just wants to ejaculate by force . Its got used to dopamine thing ... wants it badly .....its not listening to me . But i still don't want to release . So this blocked up O lying between inside and outside creates the pain i believe . After 1 or 2 days as the release it done ,the pain goes away . Only thing is that repeated attempt to pull the thing to limit is going to weaken the trickster mind bit by bit ...... its all the mind game Eye-wink ...need to break the habit which has continued for years .(Its me and my mind ...be ready this time i am going to resist further .....you have had enough of it Smiling ) . Amari i have learnt a lot from your insights in relationship .... This whole place is too good .People are sharing so many things...its wonderful ...is this a new addiction Eye-wink

Mon, 2010-05-03 17:13 — Marnia
Marnia's picture

Actually,

it sounds like you're doing great. Ultimately the goal is balance, not perfection. And you will have to be the judge of what balance looks like for you. That said, periods of abstinence do help with rebooting after heavy porn use.

It's definitely true that the fantasies do not help, so do what you can to turn your attention to something else when they pop up. Sometimes, you only need to shift your attention for a few minutes...and the distress passes. Try not to "reason" with your mind. Use the cold water technique, if necessary.

My understanding is that the Divine respects our free will, so while insights are always available on how to climb out of the holes we've all dug Smiling...we still have to do the climbing. After all, if we don't rewire the brain, we're much more likely to have recurring problems. And rewiring simply takes time. There are no shortcuts, even though help is always available.

*big hug*

Mon, 2010-05-03 20:33 — simpleton

Thanks !!

Thanks marina for such heart felt thoughts , you are our true eye opener . You have shown us the way and its up to us to walk and get there (like jesus did Eye-wink ...). Gods help is already there ...that is why we could find this place Smiling and get to know how deep we are in the hole .
True i have never felt so good during the days of POIS. Its day two , its very much kind of normal . Negligible depression , only thing is that the creative (life) energy is slightly less as it was drained out but is OK MANAGEABLE .
What truly amazed me was that my social skills were going up and up during my days of abstinence and i did nothing else to bring that improvement, it was just natural .It just shows that we are naturally very social and loving (just like a child ) and that was the state i was returning to ,but my O activities were pulling me back into my cocoon all the time . Now even after release i am picking my social skill exactly where i had left it . Its not going up but i am able to maintain it . As the day passes the creative energy is going to build up ... and my social skill will take upward growth again .
Well let me not forget ... there is miles to go before i sleep ... and miles to go before i sleep 40 days (2 nd day was easy , the 1st day was tough all the temptations were all over me trying pulling me back but i never gave in ) . This is the beginning ... JRsun great to here that u too had that problem ,this time i will try cold water , but hey every one blaming me for the fantasy .. they were coming naturally i was never doing anything ....
I remember one thing which i would like to share , just like when we take a hammer and try to hit a table , it looks still as if nothing has happened .You carry on doing it again and again , still it look as it was at the start .... but on and on you go .. and then just one blow it completely falls down . The only thing to learn is that each and ever blow matter ... it was shaking the very inner core of the table , though we could not see it . Same is the case here ... every day .. every effort matters and then one fine blow all of it fall down . One day .. if we carry on .. though we may fall again and again .. we will make it daumen_hoch

Tue, 2010-05-04 03:13 — Marnia
Marnia's picture

Whether or not you

make 40 days, it's evident your brain is coming back into balance. That's really exciting.

Believe me...no one thinks you were *trying* to fantasize. Men here often report unbidden flashbacks. It's just part of the brain wiring. Fades with time.

Actually, so-called "relapses" are very useful after you've been clear for a bit. You can see which days are most challenging for you in the cycle. You can notice which rationalizations are the most popular. Smiling And you can realize which triggers are the most to be avoided. So keep posting, or keep a journal. It may be useful in the future, too.

Tue, 2010-05-04 06:07 — simpleton

yep Got that !!

Being practical ... i would try to pull it as far as possible ...that 40 is just for the mind from settling down and keep counting . Earlier i had told it "go for 12" the reboot period ... and enjoying the journey .My mind is kind of more creative , rather than flash back it would actually create fantasies out of nothing .Should put these wonderful gifts into some productive use ... I am leaving for office . Bye winken