Recovery

Submitted by Seeker on
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I am starting day 2 of my recovery from vacation. I ate lots of fatty sugary foods. I had a lot of caffeine. I had cut much of this out for a long time. I had gone weeks at a time without caffeine. I am also on day two of no M or O(I had gone 33 days before slipping with M and O). I really think my bad diet choices influenced this slip. I am still doing well with the porn side of things. I have gone long enough with that I think for it to be easier to avoid. I still have to be careful of triggers and I avoid as many as I can. It is just after 5 months of no porn it does not have the pull it once did. Now orgasm I have yet to avoid a binge after giving in to masturbation and orgasm. To add to this I am having cravings for foods and stuff as well. So the next couple of weeks are probably going to be bad.

I had not had withdrawal headaches in a long time. I think the one I feel this morning has to do with the foods and caffeine more than orgasm. I think my past withdrawal headaches were caused from porn withdrawal and not orgasm or masturbation.

At least I know what to expect and how to deal with cravings a bit more now. If I can get through the next week without caffeine and bad foods and junk food as well as not giving in to orgasm and masturbation I will be very happy. :)

Wishing everyone well
Be Safe

Comments

Good luck

I've heard that caffeine can be tough to stop all at once, too. Maybe you can try some green tea for a bit to forestall the headaches. I know they may not be from the caffeine, but it could be worth a try.

Yuck, I am hating the

Yuck, I am hating the headaches too.

The junk food is definitely something to be aware of. Ive noticed a connection between junk food and self control too. Its good that you are paying attention to this aspect. It seems like our compulsions are tied together somehow and one binge could lead to another. But, magically, success in one can carry over to success in another.

Courage is knowing what not to fear.
-Plato

Bad day today. 3 days since

Bad day today. 3 days since last orgasm. This is around the time my mind does its first mental break down. I have been able to watch it grow today. It is kind of weird. I see the thoughts that cause me pain and self destruction forming. I feel them. I have been able to hold most of them back. It does not completely help. although this is the first time I have been able to "see" those thoughts like this. I struggling to hold back the depression as well. I have been able to really see how orgasm affects me over the last couple months.

I see how good I feel and think and how clear my thoughts are when I go without orgasm for more than 2 weeks. When it is over 4 weeks It is even more clear. I think though that going extended periods of time makes me have stronger reactions when I slip. At least for now. I still have yet to go 60+ days without orgasm. I want to get at least that many days without and see how I react.

I think when I was lost in the addiction of it and just doing it multiple times a day with porn or fantasy It blunted the complete mental melt downs. It still kept me messed up. I just did not give myself time to have the extreme lows and crash. I was just dull and cloudy all the time during that whole time. I see that now. Just how much it clouded my thinking and messed me up.

Even with all of that knowledge it is still hard to deal with these mental break downs I get before the 2 weeks are up. Some times it is more like 3 weeks.

More observations of myself and mental state with all of this.

Be Safe

I can relate

In the sense that when I was doing it regularly, and had been for a long time, I didn't *feel* abnormal, tired, etc. But after abstaining even for a week and then coming back to it, I feel it much stronger.

Makes me think I either want to do it all the time and be used to that, or not do it at all to avoid the down times.

What will be interesting is in July, assuming a successful June, I'm only going to have orgasms with my wife, no masturbation. I'm wondering how I will react with only those orgasms and not masturbating, whether it will be better, worse, or the same.

But this past couple of weeks since abstaining for a week, I've been fighting low energy and such. Today, for instance, I wasn't sleepy, but my eyes felt heavy and I had trouble focusing on tasks. I got a little better as the day went, but still feel hard to motivate myself to do things.

I'm looking forward to June to see what the difference will be after going for 2+ weeks. Should be an interesting contrast if all you folks say comes to pass for me too.