07:04:10

I should find out sometime either this week or next if I'll get to see my beau, we've been together for what seems like an eternity even though it hasn't been nearly that long.

Do you ever wonder what people see in you? Really, when they say they love you, or that you're wonderful, even beautiful. You think to yourself, 'how can I be wonderful? I'm this or I'm that', that is how I am feeling. I try not to dwell on these thoughts, but they surface sometimes. If I did not have this close connection with him I think I would be in a very dark place, lost in my solitude. Even my own daughter has not been able to save me from it. She is visiting with her father right now, and I am beginning to miss her a lot. I can't remember a time when she's been gone away from me for so long. I keep calling, but hearing a voice through a phone is not the same as having them with you. If any of you have been divorced with children or in a long distance relationship, you know that hollow ache it leaves in you.

I'm hoping tomorrow I will be feeling well enough to go dancing, that is one of my greatest passions. It is a great therapy for me, I think. I met a group of tangueros many months ago, and I haven't looked back since. The intensity of the Argentine Tango sets me on fire, for that moment I am more alive than ever. My skin fills with color and I am animate, I am life!

My personal instructor is from the country of Chile, which borders Argentina. He left during the dictatorship for America to find freedom for himself and for his family. He has traveled around the world learning the dances of many cultures and brings them back to his students. Right now I am working on mastering the Tango only, to avoid confusion. He said to me one day "you are a natural, you were born to dance this!" That was very encouraging, but still one of those moments were you wonder how they can say that about YOU. This man is about forty years older than me I think, he is in his 60's, but he is wonderful male company and I enjoy our visits.

Speaking of Argentina, I was heart broken by their great loss at the World Cup quarter finals. I was really pulling for them. From what I know, the Netherlands and Spain have never won a World Cup, so it will be interesting to see how this all pans out. What this has to do with sex or relationships? Well, I guess you could be creative... but, really it's just the rambling mind of a young female.

My partner began his first yoga meditation today, so we can progress into Tantra together in the future (his choice). A funny thing happened, he left me to practice and didn't come back, so I worried most of the night thinking something awful might have happened to him. Nope, just slumbering in his bed, not even realizing he had.

It was scary at the time, but now it's funny.

!