Back on the train

Submitted by RedDragon on Sun, 2010-07-18 13:57
Community topics: 
porn
recovery
Support

Unfortunately, I've been masturbating to porn again. First, I masturbated to sexual fantasy, then more intense sexual fantasy, and finally porn. This sucks.

I'm not starting off at square one though. I didn't subscribe to the site, just used the preview page. No videos. Still my vitality is diminished, I'm on edge and unhappy at the moment.

Fortunately, I've gone over 3.5 months without porn and know how to disengage and ignore limbic signals/impulses. I just have to do it. Starting today.

I'm pissed at myself for losing the momentum I had, but am glad that I'm in better shape than I was 4 months ago. The cravings are not as intense.

I'm making a couple of adjustments this time around.

First off, I'm done with marijuana. Second, alcohol will be a rare indulgence and done in moderation.

Next Sunday, I'll have gone a week of eating right and gaining my strength back. On Sunday's I'm indulging in a desert. I'll let everyone on here know how it tastes. smiley Having a treat on Sunday's will work better for me than drinking and smoking on Sunday's.

I'm having trouble meeting women, but don't want to get into that right now. Another post in the future if it's still a problem.

I'm feeling better getting this stuff out of my head and onto the open.

Thanks everyone here for your support. I appreciate it. I plan on having better news in the near future.

Comments

Marnia's picture

Submitted by Marnia on Sun, 2010-07-18 16:30.

of the learning curve. Congratulations on getting back on the wagon so smoothly.

Hope those ladies come around shortly. smiley

*big hug*

Submitted by RedDragon on Sun, 2010-07-18 16:58.

I hope the ladies come around too. smiley

Submitted by Dano_Clarke on Sun, 2010-07-18 16:59.

I am looking forward to my third month of no porn. Keep hitting up this website and getting the information/feedback you need on your personal situation. Do you have a porn blocker for your browser?

Submitted by RedDragon on Sun, 2010-07-18 17:28.

Congratulations on going 2+ months w/o porn. I don't have a porn blocker. I use computer's that are not mine and don't surf porn on them. I used my iPhone on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday for porn. I may get a porn blocker, but it's not a high priority for me.

One thing I noticed is that sexual fantasy is almost as depleting as porn. I'm an auditory guy and will run sexual fantasies in my head that are almost as seductive and addicting as porn. So I have to be vigilant about sexual fantasy too. They are not quite equivalent, but pretty close.

My goal is to find a woman who will learn and embrace Karezza with me. You have some good tips on online dating which I plan on using once I get back on track.

Submitted by Dano_Clarke on Sun, 2010-07-18 19:15.

The thing about fantasy is that it leads to masturbation or porn use. In and of itself it's a good thing and helps keep us bonded...once we have a mate. With the right woman in your life you can look outside see an attractive girl and not give a shit...and then just fantasize about your own woman. You can't control the flashbacks or shit that pops up in your mind don't fight your brain too hard or you could get stuck in a binge cycle again. It's better to just pour that energy into another activity. Do something else, just don't look at porn, or masturbate to orgasm. As you know if you go a little while without...it gets easier. You have developed some tools to stay away, just keep that up.