Male and Female "lessons" from porn

Submitted by davidphd1866 on
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A number of recent posts (by Celeste, Quizure, Trumpet, Flowing Searcher, et al) helped illuminate a point for me: Porn is harmful to women and causes a lot of pain because of how it normally depicts women as only "worthy" if they let some man or men with gigantic penises have their way with them. Their thoughtful comments helped me realize how there is a flip-side to porn for the male:

Only males with huge penises (and are young, etc.) are "worthy" of having their way with these women. So think about how this message is damaging to most of us "normal sized" males: we constantly are bombarded with images that tell us that only men who are very well endowed can have the "privilege" taking a woman any way they wish. In other words, well hung men are "allowed" to treat women like crap, and under endowed men are expected to watch (the porn) because they haven't "earned" the ability to as the large men do.

I can now see how porn is harmful to men for reasons other than simply the neurochemical ones.

Comments

Hmmm. It sounds kinda as if

Hmmm. It sounds kinda as if those other men are then envious of the "large" men for treating women unrespectfully?
What I dislike most about porn is that I as a man am then almost expected to be someone who wants to "take a woman any way I wish". I don't want to be reduced to my genitalia, or my genes..

As a side note, does the word porn also have any slang meanings in English, or other languages? In my language, "porn" is also often said to describe some work that is messy or exhausting or menial, and also for pretty much that anything that is "ugly".

Check out this book

This guys a radical feminist author who idolizes Anrea Dworkin. He has some ideas on this topic that might help you understand things from the woman's point of view.

http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Off-Pornography-End-Masculinity/dp/089608776X

Of course Dworkin's landmark work "Pornography: Men Posessing Women" is also a very relevant read.

http://www.nostatusquo.com/ACLU/dworkin/PornAList.html

http://www.amazon.com/Pornography-Men-Possessing-Women-Plume/dp/0452267935

interesting points

Interesting reading (Dano) Interesting point (Flower)

I would agree to there being some envy. Although I wouldn't say that men with smaller penises envy the ability to "treat a woman unrespectfully", but rather, the notion that women are "taught" (via porn, society, etc.) to satisfy the man with the larger penis. Look at today's porn. Women are expected to "open up" and do whatever a man with a large penis wants. While men with the small penis are exptected to do the opposite.

Damn! Maybe that explains

Damn! Maybe that explains it. I'm always so proud to show off my long schlong to Nancy, particularly with a good stiff morning erection. She never seems to be as suitably impressed as I think she should be, certainly not as much as I am!

I guess it goes back to the curious fact that most women don't get all that turned on by visuals.

On the other hand, I guess it could mean that I'm just not as impressive as I think . . . Nah!

I'm sure it's not that.

Nancy must just love me for my brains . . . and my modesty. ;->

Mating Mind

= Where I learned about a "fitness indicator" as it applies to the opposite sex. Not a bad concept to know about when applied to dating. Although there is a danger when generalizing too much from other species to our development. I like how Miller talks about Darwin's work on sexual selection and how creativity itself could have itself evolved as a means of attracting mates. I'm sure *some* great poets/painters/musicians got to pass on their genes. Isn't Picasso famous for his many lovers?

On the other hand the debate on how actual women are treated in porn is really compelling to me and one of the best reasons to quit porn. The industry is fraught with unsafe practices and preys on the young and vulnerable. Often it's like a "gateway" to prostitution and *for some* rape. It isn't a cause/effect relationship but there have been studies that have correlated heavy pornography use with violence against women. To say nothing of pornographers who document sick and disgusting anti-women acts like Max Hardcore (Paul F. Little) ...currently cooling his heals in a Texas low security jail on an obscenity sentence.

That guy shouldn't see the light of day.

He is perhaps one of the most disgusting of pornographers. Not only have actresses been afraid to not finish scenes (the guy is a mad man who get's away with rape with a little bit of cash basically) but the scenes are atrocious. I never watched them as material to be aroused, but needed to see for myself how horrible they are some time back. What isn't edited out is bad enough, how actresses want to book with him I will never understand. I am not a violent guy, but I would kill the man before I let anyone I knew film a scene with him. I'm just in college, no kids, no wife and what not, but he is foul. He plays up a sickening level of pedophilia as well. When he get's out, I should look up his address and mail him fresh elephant dung anonymously.

If you read any of his interviews and don't want him castrated, you should read it again.

I am glad

That others see the harmful aspects of porn. I think the part that is missing, is that porn is harmful to MEN as well as women. I know the gravity pulls towards the exploited women, but most of us men are not put in a good light either.

The way I see it,

reviving men has to be the first order of business. After all, you guys have to serve as pilots. And right now it's hard to find your way out of some of these traps. When you can do it and share your wisdom with others, there will be hope for everyone.

Happy healthy men are the best guarantee of happy healthy women. smiley (Celeste, please modify this statement to suit your tastes. smiley )