Back to Basics for me

Submitted by Dano_Clarke on Sun, 2010-07-25 10:55
Community topics: 
porn addiction

I've come a long way since being here. Literally have only masturbated a few times since I started visiting this site. I have not really looked at porn and searched for it the way I used to but I noticed that after I did masturbate today (fantasizing about my little lady the whole time) the subsequent feelings of desire to look at porn increased, where they didn't really have any hold on me before. I found myself even typing a porn stars name into a search engine. Almost like waking up from some dream like WTF am I doing here? Luckily I stopped before it became a relapse or binge. It sucks but in a sense this is a victory because I *did* stop myself from looking at hardcore porn. That's a good thing for me.

Now I'll see if I can make three weeks again with no masturbation. I do not consider this a porn relapse because I did not look at any hardcore image and masturbate to it. I did see some soft core but found it unarousing. I did not masturbate to it but instead shut it off. Then came here. Thank you for this web forum.

Comments

Marnia's picture

Submitted by Marnia on Sun, 2010-07-25 20:45.

that *is* a victory. Bravo! It's really important to understand how the neurochemistry of desire works, eh? That way you know when to be on your toes. smiley

Submitted by Dano_Clarke on Mon, 2010-07-26 08:31.

I spent with my little lady eating tacos and looking across the Hudson from a bench in Hoboken making out. The New York sky line will always be romantic, with apologies to Hotspring. I know that farms and country life with plenty of leisure is *also* always gonna be romantic. I will do that later in life. Tend peppers and what not.

Then we went to a bar on 8th street that was extremely slow and I put tunes like "All You Need is Love" and "Get Up (I Feel Like Being a) Sex Machine" on the jukebox. I sipped Sam Adams Summer Ale and she drank a Stella. We pretty much sat there with our arms around each other while the Mexican workers couldn't keep their eyes off her. What can I say she's small, brown and beautiful? I had better get used to that.

Later we went back to my bedroom and had the hottest "make out" into heavy petting session. She says she feels very comfortable with me sexually. She came twice with manual stimulation the first time and the second with her simply riding my leg. At this point we not ready for vaginal intercourse. Too soon. I told her about my masturbating early in the day and since she knew I had around three weeks she decided it was ok that I could have an orgasm from her. So that would be the first time since we started dating a month and a half ago that she got me off. It probably won't happen again for awhile (orgasm not us making out in our room.)

I guess this orgasm came on time anyway. My pattern since I started the experiment has been to go without for two or three weeks and then allow an orgasm or two. Maybe I can get past three weeks again. I like the idea of scheduling orgasms and having more conscious control of the process.

Marnia's picture

Submitted by Marnia on Mon, 2010-07-26 10:50.

Sounds like a lovely day. There seems to be a lot of chemistry there. smiley

Submitted by Dano_Clarke on Mon, 2010-07-26 12:07.

I realize also how difficult it is for her as a virgin. We are taking it slow and hanging out to get to know each other. There *is* a lot of chemistry. So much so I have decided not to get back with the other girls I've been dating.

Having three girlfriends is exhausting, time consuming and will bankrupt me if I keep at it.

Thanks, Marnia, for reading my posts. It matters that another human being cares.

Marnia's picture

Submitted by Marnia on Mon, 2010-07-26 14:33.

an exciting development. smiley