07:28:10

"Tujh mein rab Dikhta hai" is Hindi for, "I see God in you."

This is what I feel every time I look at my love, I see him and there is God. His body, I see a beautiful temple.

I have always felt this way, but never had the courage to say it.

My difficulty in remaining in my old sexual realm is in this. It is not that I think there can be nothing sexual in the divine, but anything less than awe seems defiling. How can I touch him lustfully without admiring his beauty, without looking into his eye and knowing Him. Even if there is physical pleasure I cannot separate it from energy, before sleep I lie and pine for this experience and I'm in so much pain because of it. I don't know if it simply greed or just my soul longing to merge now that it has tasted it.

It is not his fault, I am in a place where he is not at. I can see that he feels I am leaving him behind, but really I'm just waiting for him to find me. I want him to feel as I feel him, and see as I see him. When you look into your lover's eyes and see God there, nothing is ever the same again. It shatters any and all perception you once had of love.

It is not in the pleasure, the truth to our yearning and loneliness is held in this embrace. It is the awakening and fusing of divine energy separated from itself.

Here, we feel fulfilled.

We feel whole again.

We finally know love for what it is.

This is the meaning of life.

!