Now that I have seen both sides

As a single person I always pondered what it was like to be finally rid of mother nature's nagging of go find a female NOW. I experienced that, and I must say it wasn't what I expected. I had a balance, and certainly contentment with what I had, but that was it. Everything was fine, bland, plenty of energy, happy, but bored. I had all the same work load, 40 hour a week job, with cooking and cleaning and maintaining several properties. I did it all, still happy, but just missing that extra push that I had. I didn't crave it, but I did miss it.

Time past, still content, still happy, still "bored" as all my female friends didn't notice any real difference nor my male ones. I was still weird and wacky, and as usual they thought I was on something because I am that crazy around people. I've always been good at entertaining a single person or a whole crowd once I get the spotlight, but I won't interrupt.

As this was going on, I caught a horrid rash that covered many parts of me including my groin. It stopped me from being able to walk for awhile, and I was as itchy as anything. The pain was so intense that I got to the point of lashing out at the toaster and such when no one was home. So I said enough and took some of the best medicine around-psychedelic mushrooms. I wrote a paper for my college botany course off the work of some of these doctors that have done perhaps the most in depth research on the subject. I made a tea that tasted bloody awful, but within twenty minutes I noticed a certain feeling began to fade. My legs didn't hurt and I could walk perfectly fine again. A little time passed, and I had to take a break from eating, because I became disinterested. I decided to go out on my porch and the trees, my god the trees were getting intense. I decided to go lay in the grass and take it all in. Well a funny side effect I always have with psychedelic mushrooms is an intense primal urge to make love, but lack of random willing females has always been the case I am always in the middle of nowhere when I do them. So to occupy my time I generally talk to myself through trees and plants to iron out my subconscious thoughts that I can't do otherwise. The majority of the time I was simply staring at my legs that were horribly swollen and oozing plasma, and was just happy to get some relief even if I knew by the night they would hurt like hell again. I once again reflected on my views on the effect of sexual urges in my life. I realized I had let myself slip far from grace, but it wasn't the porn that made me tired, grumpy, lethargic, it was the fact it was my fault. I had gone years with the stuff, but then something changed. As most men can relate, as you go through puberty, chances are you masturbated to orgasms that were not very powerful, didn't ejaculate, and could keep going without stopping afterwords. Slowly it becomes more of a build up, and the finale that knocks you off your feet for a few moments. I noticed it was most convenient to masturbate at night due to this, and I used to just do it to a random playboy nearly in the dark. I found out why I personally felt so bleh afterwords with internet porn. I figure this to be true in my case due to trial and error. A dark room and bright screen is alot of eye strain, and to boot your biological clock wants to wind down and you are overstimulating it both by light, disrupting melatonin production. I noticed I didn't get the same headaches if I saw the same stuff during the day. A second problem I realized, when looking at porn my pain tolerance goes through the roof, and being distracted means I am more likely to sit in the same spot and stare at the screen causing eye strain without me realizing it.

Extended periods sitting in front of screen simply do not occur to me writing email and such because I get up and stretch often. Also, there seems to be an issue of excessive extended arousal that can drain a person, but it hard to tell if it was that or looking at a screen too long, for I used to play online games and would get mentally exhausted just staring too long.

I am by no means trying to vindicate what porn has become. Escalation is a clear issue that has to be addressed, but it is like any drug. Weed which America is slowly losing its ignorance to creates a level of tolerance that more is needed to satisfy. People, however, go on tolerance breaks. I think that should be done with people who use porn, but it doesn't consume them enough to stop forever. Self control is a must though, for some use opiates in sparingly and do not become drooling addicts robbing people for a fix. The same goes for people using porn, take a long enough break so that a bikini model causes as much excitement as what extreme stuff did before you became numb to it. As soon as you begin to slip and move on to what you thought was a result of over stimulation when you were on a break from it, don't view it and take another break.

I don't recommend this to the majority just as I don't recommend most drugs. People cannot handle moderation, overindulge, and lead themselves down a road to disaster. I am not immune to the draw of escalation and no one is, but based on observations as a single male that spent the time away to let my mind reset and become a better man for it, I come to the conclusion at least for me, that I prefer the high libido over neutrality.

I treat people the same (according to people), I have never pressured a girlfriend into sex (I actually am the level headed one when it comes to sex), and in fact I am more attracted to less than flawless women when I am energized with sexual energy. My views are not the same for the majority here, but alas I also don't feel I am naturally as anxious or what not as some of the posters here.

Now, what we should all do regardless of whether we look at porn, masturbate, practice karezza, are completely abstinent, or whatever. Is just treat everyone better. No one is without their own problems, whether they are handled by the person or not, but people assume no one cares. If you are in a relationship, really show your love and be honest about it. If a couple practices orgasmic sex, try to do it earlier than bedtime so you are less tempted to simply go to bed. Rather, take a little extra time to fight the programmed response to roll over and fall asleep. Talk to each other, cuddle up, and show you are more to each other than just a round of sex. This is more speaking to guys, more prone to rolling over and snoring while their spouse is then flooded with the urge to talk and bond. I have seen plenty of couples pull off having orgasmic sex, just as I have seen orgasmic couples fail. The true thing that holds them together is everything else they do beyond sex. Men and women should both step up to the plate in today's relationships. After years of marriage, you are the best friends you both have (or better be), show that same love in the first non awkward kiss you two had in the one 5,10,15 years after it.

Everyone needs to find what works for them best. May everyone also be blessed with love too someday.