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really bad day at school... :(
My english professor, had the class watch an independent film called "Little Red Riding Hood". It started off with the traditional Little Red Hiding Hood, but as it continued it definitely became twisted. Well, sure, maybe the original Little Red Riding Hood was pretty close to this version.
I knew this was a bad start for me. The professor asked us all to write about the story and tell the class a little about ourselves and something we thought about the film.
I was trembling the whole time waiting for my turn. Well, it turned out I was the Last one to speak. The professor said "this has to be the best because you're last". I let out a "hehehh.... (nice)."
Well.. you know how I feel. Everyone on this board knows how I feel. I told the class I didn't like the film for really personal reasons that I did not wish to talk about. He insisted that I do though. So I just let out a few hints, and he got it , that I simply did not want to talk about the disturbing (to me) film. So I wrote about it.
The story not only says, that it's ok to disobey parents, and religious figures. But, the story also says, that Masculinity is by nature, a wolf. Aggressive, violent, mischeivious, sinister, 'naughty', 'horny', uses trickery, and dishonesty. Nobody cares about that though. That's because they think that it's totally natural, and ok for a male to be this way, and that it's in fact nature. It's also nature for a woman to be attracted to such characteristics because that is what "masculinity" is all about here. No one gives second thought to this second meaning though, they only pay attention to the fact that it's a children's story meant to intimidate younger folks to not be sexually promiscuous and such, for fear of the 'big bad wolf', and that later on you'll learn that the big bad wolf is an innocent male who is tempting the woman to disobey the parents and authorities.
Of course they think it just stops there. It's understandable to me, it's ok, sometimes you can disobey parents and authorities. What isn't said is that by choosing the wolf as the male character it is also saying that by nature, males are just like wolves.
But of course, only a repressed male virgin would see that. Anyone who has gone through 'puberty' and has had their share of 'naughtyness' would see that this is really just about rebellion to authority figures. But they don't see that, this rebellion is also not just a rebellion to moral principles but also biological principles. Yes marriage has been abused by religion and politics, but that is not to say that marriage altogether is wrong because people have abused these boundaries. Same with monogamy.
Excessive and/or mishandled passion and lust, have initiated about 90 percent of all wars, aggression, violence, competition, etc. Notice I didn't say fuel, but initiated. The lust for material things is pretty much at heart a lust for procreation in it's real literal sense and metaphorical sense. In the most subtlest sense. All competition, even forms of good and striving for perfection have come from this as well, to a point that the male mind has evolved to a point where, even if the male is skilled as long as he doesn't have a woman he will feel like the lowest lifeform under heaven. In fact, even rejected by Nature herself. Perhaps even God/Goddess, because this means he has not Yang, no Yin to commune with and therefore is perhaps un-manifest and even incomplete, a mistake.
Now this film, and in pop media, encourage males to be violent, and aggressive, mischeivious, sinister. Sex is associated with taboo, and 'naughtyness', with being 'bad', with being 'horn-y'. Then in this society women will call one man a sociopathic pervert, while another man does something worse, but he is 'masculine' in all his 'rights'. Women will accept a male's dominance over her as symbolic of her power over beta males, even to the point of accepting the most crude acts from him, making him superior in all ways to the point of being Beyond Principle, beyond all Laws of Nature, to sit on the Mantle of Oneness, throne of God. Of the most High. Superior in All ways... such that he can do anything, because She accepts all of Him no matter what because he is "Alpha".
Alpha males. taking the throne by brute force. And males are only alpha simply by how many women they get.. because without women a male cannot surely dominate in the first place. Women have such power. Social power and more. Therefore who really is at fault?
It makes me so sad.
- TheZone's blog
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Comments
You said all of that
to your class???
No. And this post doesn't
No.
And this post doesn't also cover all of what I think.
I wrote about some of this, in fact in the most compact form I could.
I just said that it's wrong to instill into the minds of young men and women that it's natural and good to be a "wolf" and to be attracted to "wolves" when you get to a 'certain age', as if being a wolf or being attracted to a wolf is any good at all.
It really is pointless to
It really is pointless to live.
In all cultures, all religions, it's the 'norm' to be a wolf if your a male. You are in fact encouraged to be 'a wolf'. Even if popular media would make it out to be wrong, underlying all of that there is also 'alternative' culture which is rebellious, and which in Fact corrupt pop culture by infiltration, intimidation, and they make it seem as if it's a 'great secret to behold, that Evil is more rewarding and is in fact Better than good'.
And of course, this makes
And of course, this makes any male who wants to do good and be good, seem like repressed freaks of nature, cowards, because they want to be the boring 'good guy', the unrealistic dreamer, the lowest lifeform to ever exist.
Why not read
"Snow White" instead and then you can reflect on evil step-mothers for a change.
You need to be nice to
You need to be nice to yourself. You really need to try that for a bit. You need to give yourself a break. Stop beating yourself up so much.
Is there anything you can do for yourself tonight that would be being nice to yourself. Give me one thing that you can do that would be something that would make you feel good tonight.
When you come up with something then do it. As long as it is something that is nice and good for you and not harmful I do not care what it is.
Just do something that makes you feel good. Something kind for yourself.
just one thing to do tonight.
That is all you need to do is just one kind thing for yourself.
If you could do this kind thing for yourself what would it be ?
Sexual selection also gave
Sexual selection also gave us many good things like bigger brains. Any competitive athlete will tell you that competition is really an internal feature. How far one pushes themselves is what athletes are really doing in the arena of other athletes doing the same thing. We are lucky to live in a society that can embody this in sports and other forms of "passion". Whether men are doing this "for the chicks" or what is up to them, but look at the passion of a lot of successful people in many areas- they arent all doing it for the chicks, they are often married and living a normal life. They are doing these things because by nature, humans have an urge to achieve, be productive, and challenge themselves. When you paint a picture of men in lust competitions, you are grossly painting about 10% of passionate activities at best. And so what if some people are doing it for sex. Thats their business and if you were truly fixed and satisfied on your high path, it wouldnt bother you a bit. You want to talk about causing real harm to generations, look at what religion has done. Plus, 90% of us wouldnt be here if it werent for this horrible act that is going on late at night.
Im going to give you the same advice a chinese doctor gave to me when I came to him and describe all of my physical and mental symptoms to years ago- Go get laid. I am dead serious, thats what he told me and I thought he was crazy, but now I see what he was talking about. I sounded just like you dude.
Courage is knowing what not to fear.
-Plato
yea, but with what a
yea, but with what a prostitute? It's really nice to know that to join the rest of the world I have to get a prostitute. Or learn that love is prostitution, because the only thing I can get is a prostitute, because I'm a virgin and women don't like virgins? I know I 'just need to get laid' but it's that and more. I need love, but moreso I needed it when I was supposed to have it, at the appropriate age. Now Im just a repressed psycho and I'm always going to be that way.
But fuck forget it. There's no such thing as love.
Please be kind to yourself
You are what 24 ? I am almost 38 and still a virgin. I am sure you are wrong about women not liking virgins.
Again you think someone else can fix your mental mess besides you ? You think having a partner will fix everything that is wrong with you life and thinking ?
Sorry but that is wrong thinking as much as the rest of your thinking is.
Only you can heal yourself. You need to do something to be nice to yourself. Just one thing. take the advice of just one person from these boards.
Just one step. Just one thing to do. Something good for you. Something you like doing and do it a lot. As long as it is not harmful to you then do it.
There has to be something. I do not care if it is watching your favorite movie or listening to your favorite song. watch or listen as much as you can.
then pick something else.
You have to take your healing into your on hands. You can not wait for things to get better you can not expect someone else to heal you.
Right now you hate yourself. Till you can love yourself you are going to be stuck.
Its a choice you are making.
Again I do not want to hear I can't (I will not) no whining not complaining. Just stop all of that for a day and think of stuff you like that makes you feel good or just better. STOP thinking about all this stuff that makes you suffer. That hurts you. That causes you pain.
You need to stop all that mess that is your head. You can do it.
Look at all the people on this board that care. Everyone that has posted in your threads/blogs care. They really do. I do. We want you to feel better. We take our time to try and help you. Please take some ones advice or help.
You can feel better. you can be happy. Why do you not want to be happy ?
I will ask you what several people asked me. Do you want to be RIGHT or do you want to be HAPPY ?
I fought that question but I understand it now. I am not sure it can be explained you have to learn it on your own. Give it a lot of thought and it will come to you. I hated that question. Now I try my best to use it to help me stop some of my mental melt downs.
Try to do something nice for yourself. Be kind and nice to yourself. Do not worry about what others do or think for a few days or a day or just start with do that for 1 hour a day and work up from there.
Wishing you well
Be Safe
James
wow I'm sorry but being a 38
wow I'm sorry but being a 38 year old virgin is messed up.. and do you think you really deserved it? Not that sex matters more than love but I'm sure you must have at least had love... and if not... then I rest my case, this is what happens to good men when they're not "alpha".
And people wonder why such loneliness is crippling me, physically as well as emotionally, and psychologically.
I haven't read all of your post also, I'm sorry.. but I have to go right now. Thanks.
Me being messed up is your
Me being messed up is your perception. I know women that do not think that is is messed up. what does deserved have to do with anything ?
It was not anyone else's doing and it is not anybodies or societies fault. It just is there is nothing wrong with it. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin at any age. yeah It took me awhile to realize that but I am OK with it. Really it does not eat at me any more.
How do you know I am a good man ?
How do you know I am not "alpha" ? Is your description of alpha male just one that has a lot of sex ? If so then that is messed up thinking.
How do you know if it was by choice or not.
You jumped right to your perceptions of me being a virgin at 38 and ignore the rest of my post.
Why not read the rest of my post and use what I wrote.
Wishing you well
Be Safe
James
The Oracle says:
What is holding me back or causing me pain?
LACK OF SELF-CONFIDENCE
Is there something I need to be alert to in my situation?
FAILURE TO ACCEPT ADVICE
What insight will help me at this time?
OPEN
Quizure
"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” - Dr. Seuss
an oracle for you.
What is holding me back or causing me pain?
DESIRE FOR MEANINGLESS TRIUMPH
Is there something I need to be alert to in my situation?
LACK OF HUMILITY
What insight will help me at this time?
OBSTACLE WILL GIVE WAY
No, not a prostitute. It
No, not a prostitute. It doesnt mean go fuck anything that moves (or doesnt move). It means to live according to your desires. Not to repress them. The statement is more process oriented than goal-oriented. The chinese doctor was right, although I didnt realize it at the time. Had I not been at odds with my desires and just embraced my sexuality, I might have avoided all kinds of mental complexes. It is better to be a heathen and be present and embracing it than to be floating in this world at odds with yourself and your desires. I was stuck for years in that state, shame, insecurity, etc. Nothing noble or spiritual about it, just a mess. Of course, I am happy to ave had the experience and have pulled out of it with knowledge, but I sure could have used some direction. Some people do not make it out and they are stuck yelling at the moon and panhandling. You want to explore the glory of alternative thought? I invite you to come to where I live and just spend the day talking to guys on the street that swear they are Jesus and then ask you for a slice of pizza. Their ideas about religion, politics, the world are pretty convincing to them and they cannot function. These people did not make it out and this stuff is very real. Get to a therapist and work this stuff out, dont settle for your pet theories on the world and people. You are young and can do this. Give it a few years, work through some heavy stuff, and some girl will like you for who you are when you are ready for it.
Here is a hint- if you can manage to keep your alternative edge and function as a person in society, you will have a lot to offer society in a few years. Going against society completely will insure isolation, misperception, and insanity.
You can do this, we might seem harsh with you, but we are on your side here. I just get mad at myself sometimes and I dont want to see you mess up. I want you to experience all of the good things in life instead of focusing on all of the garbage.
Courage is knowing what not to fear.
-Plato
Well you know why I don't
Well you know why I don't feel like changing right? Because I'm so alone I don't even feel like changing. I want to change, but to go to a psychologist would seem pointless. Especially when most people don't even need one, and all they needed was love in the first place. It is so common for people would leave you alone when stuff goes "wrong". Like a lot of women do in these days... perhaps because they don't have a capacity for unconditional love. I can make it out, but alone? Not a lot of people can make it out alone. Everyone is so sure that we live in little boxes, complete independent from everyone. Hypocrites they are... they tell you it's ALL your fault and only you are to blame. They tell you that you can do it all by yourself, when they themselves cannot do it themselves. What does it take then, magic? Anyway... it's a vicious cycle. You start off being alone, especially in childhood, you'll end up alone, for fear of being alone, and nobody wants to be with a loner. At least not a loner who isn't comfortable with being alone because he/she is literally sick of being alone that it's crippling his/her self esteem to be able to do normal things. Also because you don't have the necessary "experience" or "skill" that one learns , ie, happiness with others and oneself, self expression, etc.
You will be able to think of
You will be able to think of a hundred reasons not to go. Put those excuses on a shelf and trust me right now. Take that step and just go. Dont even think about it, the rest will fall into place. You are depressed and going to therapy will give you a foothold on it. Take that first step, you are at a school and they offer you free counseling. Spinning in your head is not working.
Courage is knowing what not to fear.
-Plato
you are not alone
nobody is asking you to heal alone. what I have been saying is that nobody can fix the mental trap you are caught in right now. You do need support. you do not have to do it alone. you are getting support here. a psrtner loving you is not going to fix your mental state. you have to work on that and fix it yourself. you can and should and you are getting support to work through it though. no need to do it alone. it is ok to seek support and help. you just can not rely on anothers love to heal you. you need to love yourself to heal. keep getting more support. you can heal. I got support and I am still using that support and it is making a big difference in my life. wishing you well be safe james
A therapist is
a paid friend, Zone. A real person whose job it is to listen unconditionally and mirror back to you your own healthy insights...and perhaps share some of his/her own. So you won't be alone.
With a few more skills you'll be able to find your own friends. Don't skip steps, even if you understand the ultimate goal.
*big hug*
Nothing will help. Women
Nothing will help.
Women only want aggressive, and violent men.
There's no changing my mind in this.
I will surely commit suicide.
It's not that I can't learn
It's not that I can't learn to defend myself or my woman.
It's not that at all.
It's that she WANTS me to bully other men. It's that she WANTS me to be immoral and selfish.
Scientific evidence
Scientific evidence DEMONSTRATES that women will go for the most brutal of men. Regardless of their "intelligence", regardless of how "good" they are, or they show themselves to be. Women DEMONSTRATE that they are incapable of fidelity perhaps even moreso than men. This is by far MOST women.
To say that most women are this way. Because, their biology has been ENGINEERED this way, and women KEEP breeding this, and KEEP breeding more and more and more and more these tendencies.
Not to pick men that can defend. But to pick men that show "desirable traits". A fuckin peacock doesn't have colorful feathers to defend itself against predators. They only develop them for competition against other males.
It doesn't mater to them that men are fighting their own kind. They want sport. They want blood. They want to torture.
And why would a woman select
And why would a woman select a guy just because he is nice? Of course women want guys that are considerate, but they also want a guy with a backbone who wont fold at the first sign of hardship. SOME women interpret this as being able to physically harm someone, while others are attracted to men who believe in themselves enough to make a lot of money or who care about their appearance enough to "peacock".
A girl and I are interested in each other. I actually met this girl after I was assaulted by 3 jack-asses in a bar a few months ago. She is a government worker and was handling my case dealing with this situation. She knows exactly what happened, she knows all kinds of big guys around town, she could choose any of them she wants. She doesnt find that attractive, she finds other qualities attractive and the fact that I was beat up does not bother her at all. In fact, she seems to feel more secure that I am seeking a career and that I am going to be there for her emotionally. I was selected over brutal men. She is just not at all attracted to them.
Think about it, why in the world would "niceness" be the only criteria for selecting a partner? Humans are a dynamic bunch and women want the best for them, whatever it is that they think it is. Do you think a pretty woman is going to select a guy who does nothing but play video games, drinks soda, and whacks himself to porn while yelling at his mom for more cheesepuffs from the basement, just because he is nice? What is it that we have to offer a woman? If the .2% of the women barsluts that you are referring to when you are talking about women selecting only brutal men are the kind of women you are interested in, then have fun vying for their attention. However, a better strategy is to live up to your potential in all ways, have a clear and defined path, and work towards it with dignity. You notice that this advice has NOTHING to do with other men? Thats because if you are truly taking care of yourself and your path, you dont have to worry about other men because you are an individual who is confident and determined to live a good life. Nothing is more attractive to a woman. It only seems brutal when you are watching from the sidelines criticizing the game.
Ideally, you'll develop skills and learn to adapt as the result of your pain and isolation. What do you have to offer a woman at this point? Bitter talk about how bad women are at selecting the 'real' virtuous men? Why would a woman even endanger her offspring with a man that was talking like that?
Courage is knowing what not to fear.
-Plato
Yea, and you would think all
Yea, and you would think all I do is play video games and such? Its just hard to stay focused when you look around you and you are clearly getting the short end of the stick, and while other men are doing nothing too. So, I'll just have to live as a monk for now, in a very weird place. It's easy for a man to stay up on his 'game' with encouragement and a conducive state of mind, an acceptable environment that would allow him to be. When he has no encouragement then, well... I have to be very busy too. I have no time for 'social things'. Nor am I really fit to do such things because I do not fit in with those crowds. But anyway...
enough. I'm done with this board. I do have to leave.. it's really taking lots of time away from me.
I'm sorry about everything. I really am.
Bye
Check back in sometime and let us now how you're doing.
*big hug*
It gets better. Take
It gets better. Take care.
No, I dont think youre playing video games all day. I was giving an exaggerated example.
Courage is knowing what not to fear.
-Plato