Day 21

IM1969's picture
Submitted by IM1969 on Wed, 2010-09-01 01:23
Community topics: 
porn addiction recovery
masturbation pornography recovery

Hardly slept last night. Was feeling like sex when we went to bed, but I could see that Mrs IM1969 was really tired and I didn't even try, which I may have done in the past. Went to sleep thinking about sex then woke up at 12.30 wide awake. Toothache, indigestion, pipes and squirrels(?) on the roof!
The urge for some release, knowing that would help me sleep was pretty big. I Didnt sleep for hours,I read then I listened to about 3 episodes of "This American Life"
This morning MrsIM has gone off to work and I'm on the laptop ready to work. Training later for me today.
Today is going to be a tough one as all the triggers are there - arousal, tired, feeling sorry for myself and ahead of time. But three weeks in today!! Going to read back all my journal entries and focus on what has got me this far. Also going to make sure that I do enough work so that riding bike and swimming really take place and at a good time. I don't need a slip as I know what it will lead to.
Need a bit of a boost today - reading some things on here as helped alot.
I read a piece on AVRT - I think they may be some issues some people have about all these things, but I thought that way you use it to change the "I" (as in I want to......) to "It" (as in it wants to.....) and being in charge of the "it" the part of the brain that is addicted, makes you feel more in control.
Ok off now to have the day that I want to have.

Comments

Submitted by couldnine on Wed, 2010-09-01 01:43.

Three weeks is great. There is a bunch of stuff about getting over the 3 week hump to helping your body reboot of sorts. Man, what I'd do to get to the 3 week mark. Just keep going!

IM1969's picture

Submitted by IM1969 on Wed, 2010-09-01 03:13.

Just came so very close (no pun intended) to old habits but came on here and saw that message.
Thanks no relapse and I am keeping going!!!

Marnia's picture

Submitted by Marnia on Wed, 2010-09-01 09:07.

Even when Mrs IM is tired, ask her to hold you for a few minutes, skin-to-skin. See if it doesn't calm you down...and help insure that she soon finds time for more snuggling. smiley

When you skip bonding behaviors, you are not doing you or your partner a favor, no matter how considerately you may be behaving. Did you read the comments at the end of this article...by a husband? http://www.reuniting.info/lazy_way_to_stay_in_love

IM1969's picture

Submitted by IM1969 on Thu, 2010-09-02 04:27.

I think we do alot of that. I think we are "serial cuddlers". Its interesting that in the past 3 weeks I have found myself spending alot more time, not from deliberate thought, touching her - ie touching and massaging her feet while we watch TV or just holding her in bed. BUT when I felt like I did then, it was the opposite of what I did in bed, I think I thought "stay away and think about something else" and I can see now that wouldnt have helped.
In the past the cuddling would have created a greater need (for sex) but now it meets a need (love)
Vitamin D I will look into supplementing with that in the winter (which is just around the corner!) I think that I have a bit of that seasonal affective disorder as I get so 'low' in the winter and thats with spending about 12/14 hours outside a week.
Thanks again. I wouldnt be getting along like I am if it wasnt for this site.
M

Marnia's picture

Submitted by Marnia on Thu, 2010-09-02 09:11.

you start to see sex and touch completely differently. A brain that's low in dopamine response is desperate for a fix (orgasm), and sees any "cue" as a source of great discomfort unless it lead to the desired fix. But a balanced brain not only isn't so hungry, but also gets a lot of pleasure from both touch and sex, and welcomes both, whether sex itself is on the table or not.

And people don't believe this shift is possible...until they experience it. smiley