♥Finding Balance

Today, a wonderful day, Golden Eagle kept his hands on my breasts as we lay in scissors and I felt a sustained flow of energy through my body. I had had this sense of sustained energy once before, but this was even longer. Imagine a calm spot, mossy green and brown, in a river. The sun lights up the patch that you are looking at and you can see clearly to the bottom: the rounded stones, the rich golden brown and green hues, a fish swimming lazily into view. The sunlight stays and stays and stays. That’s what it was like. It created well-being through my whole body.

Moving his hands to my sacrum caused me to be aware of discomforts, mostly different forms of pressure. Taking my mind into those spots helped them to release and I sighed each time. We did just enough of those and returned to our lazy spot by the river.

He needed my hand at one point on his hip. It felt so good, he said. I think my hand was helping energy to move for him through something tight. Interesting that the Richardson’s do not mention the use of hands to help with energy flow.

Today’s balance was just right and it comes after a few sessions that were difficult. We had so much energy flowing in two different sessions around March 1 that I felt “cracked open” in one and dazed in another. He has felt dazed at times, too. When I “cracked open,” my ankylosing spondylitis, a painful, genetic form of arthritis that usually starts with the joints around the sacrum, flared as well.

Since those sessions, we have been returning to balance. In one session I felt as if I were wearing an insulator, the kind used for telephone wires. Such an interesting experience not to feel the same intensity as in the prior sessions. In another it felt as if his penis were inoculating me. That also felt wonderful. But today is the best–Isn’t today always the best?–so far.

Finding balance in the midst of the suffering in Japan has been difficult, too. I seem to swing between a couple of poles. The earthquake, tsunami, and partial, so far, nuclear meltdown has brought impermanence nakedly to the fore for me--life itself, possessions, family members, all could be gone in a matter of minutes.

The disaster also seems apocalyptic, as if foreshadowing the end of civilization as we know it now. Obviously, atomic energy will not work; oil and gas do not work on the scale we are using them; we haven't developed wind and solar. Though there is the hopeful note that Portugal gets 45% of its energy from wind, the dramatic message of the earthquake and tsunami seem to be that things won’t go on as they have been.

I remind myself to take the very long and wide view. We will not be the first civilization to die off. Earth is likely not alone in harboring sentient beings. We are just a very small speck in vastness.

I also remind myself to stay present in the moment, just now to Spring and, of course, karezza. Spring is in full swing here. Daffodils are all up and the weather has stayed cool so that we are having a long display. The trees are budding, too. Already there are white and pink blossoms. One day this week I saw a pale pink plum tree, a deep purple-pink bush, and brilliant orange-pink on the branches of a small tree, all as I walked to the corner. So much color now!

Another word of hope from Marian Wright Edelman whose life work was with children: “We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee.”

I see karezza and reuniting the sexes as fundamental to shifting us to something much more positive. To all the men on this site working to overcome addictions and to all of the men and women exploring and practicing karezza, thank you for your efforts to make a difference.