day 60

I haven't been posting much on my own situation because it's been too painful for me to write about, but I'll give an update. My background. I kind of felt I had a masturbation addiction in my teens that only involved JC Penney catalog underwear models ect... Experienced ED with first girl at 17. Happened to be on a medication called Accutane which has been associated with ED and low libido. So after almost 20 years I've never really sorted out what the source of my problems are, but I'm convinced I have an addiction problem nonetheless. Real life sex has been very rare, and usually I needed Viagra or something. I've always been able to masturbate (and enjoy it) with no problems.

I once made it to day 63, and on that day had a long standing erection, but things didn't workout with my wife, so I went back to PMO.

So I've been true for 60 days of no PMO, and I do feel a sense of accomplishment that I've been able to control the masturbation habit. I've turned to limited amounts of alcohol and lots of caffeine to get me through this, but I plan on reducing both. I've exercised really well during this time period. I have had some morning erections, but no spontaneous erections. I will say that only on day 60 I looked at a youtube video of a sexy girl dancing with clothes on and did get an erection while I was sitting back relaxed. Interestingly, I wasn't worried at all about slipping back into PMO. The only concern I have, is anytime I get aroused, it usually involves some far out fantasizing, and I don't get aroused easily in real life, so I'm not even going to look at those non-porn videos again for the next 60 days. That's right, my personal goal is 120 days of no PMO. I'm inspired by Grey12's story. In fact, had I not read his testimony, I may have broken down by now.

I really don't know what to make out of my situation. There have been times I've been with my wife with no chance of sex, but got an erection in her presence. I guess in the last 20 years I've only felt the "gotta have it" feeling a handful of times. I can generate that feeling by watching the right porn. Note that my problems started long before viewing porn though.

One of the reasons I didn't post during this 2nd attempt at no PMO is I was so depressed, I didn't want to discourage anyone. But there are enough testimony's now that even if I'm not successful, the majority are.