♥condoms for new partners and while learning this or even as birth control

Submitted by recreatingone on
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what about new lovers and condoms?

okay, i'm in between relationships right now but lets say i meet a new partner and we decide to become intimate. First with a new partner i want to use protection until i know she is safe so to speak and that our relationship is going to more than a one night stand.

so i guess the real question is: nobody has talked about concerns with birth control and karezza. even in a future committed relationship i don't want to have any more children and what if during the beginning phases of learning this i would want to use a condom to avoid shall we say, an unexpected or spontaneous orgasm.

thanks for any feedback on this topic

I don't think anyone here

I don't think anyone here would advise against using a condom if it is neccesary - i.e. with a new partner when you are not sure if it is safe, or as a method of birth control. Karezza isn't sold as a birth control method. You can absolutely use condoms during karezza sex.

I can't go on the pill for medical reasons, and as my boyfriend an I are long distance and do not want to have kids at this point we use condoms, even for karezza, at any point in my cycle where there is a risk of me concieving. I know my menstrual cycle pretty well and we've both been tested for stds, so we dispense with them at time of the month which I know are safe. The connection feels stronger without a condom, but it's not enough of a difference to risk pregnancy.

Hope that helps,

Hugs, katten

did you and your boyfriend

did you and your boyfriend agree to have the tests done after you met. I'm just curious because i was in a very long term marraige that ended and a little green here if you know what i mean? on a side note if not worrying about std protection there are some condoms that are thinner of lambs skin or latex free that are better for sensation. Ask your boyfriend to look into that if interested.

Condoms and karezza

can be challenging if you make love for a long time, because erections come and go. I honestly don't know a good work around. smiley

But maybe if you emphasize the other sensual contact so intercourse isn't the entire "show," and use a condom when your erection is fired up, and then withdraw when you sense it fading, you'll be fine. You could just start again with a new condom if your body thinks it's a good idea. smiley

I don't know how they are tested

But they don't take a lot of abuse while inside because they are very loose, so no real potential to rip open. Plus, if you are engaging in karezza/slow sex, it's not like you are pounding away at it~~plus, you probably aren't going to orgasm on top of all that~~so it should be pretty darn safe, I would say.

rediscovered

recreatingone wrote: even in

recreatingone wrote:

even in a future committed relationship i don't want to have any more children and what if during the beginning phases of learning this i would want to use a condom to avoid shall we say, an unexpected or spontaneous orgasm.

thanks for any feedback on this topic

My partner made the same decision you have - he did not want children - so he got a vasectomy, the easiest way to prevent 'accidents' related to condoms or BCP. During the waiting period on the vasectomy, I used a cervical cap.

Quizure

Goddesses like inspiring men to conquer dragons.
-Marnia

that's a good option for

that's a good option for some but do to some research i did on vasectomy's and my knowledge of anatomy, i'm not convinced this is the healthiest option for my as a man. Its one of those touchy subjects and even though i say no more children now, lightning could strike and some wonderful inspiring woman could convince me otherwise if all the things in my life lined up to show it was a good option etc. Small chance but anyway thanks for the info about that choice.

A list of symptoms

Anxiety
Breast enlargement, gynecomastia
Decreased muscle mass/strength
Depression
Erectile dysfunction
Fat accumulation
Fatigue
Health decline with age
Hot flashes
Hypogonadism, male
Impatient/hostile/irritable disposition
Inability to concentrate
Joint pain/swelling/stiffness
Low energy/stamina
Low motivation
Low sex drive
Morning stiffness <-- I had to laugh at this one - some parts are stiff in the morning smiley
Premature signs of aging
Reduced pubic hair
Reduced underarm hair
Smaller, softer testes, male
Sweating

There's absolutely nothing on this list, aside from some "weight gain" (and I can tell you, it's because for the last 10 years, he's eaten way too much sugar and wheat in the form of homemade cookies ) he has zero symptoms. He's 39, and has had the vasectomy for at least 15 years.

I, on the other hand, might be suffering from it! (Menopause! )

I'm going to go looking for actual study cites later.

Quizure

Goddesses like inspiring men to conquer dragons.
-Marnia

Interesting second

Interesting second link...more options for men might better balance out the underlying battle/concern between the sexes over unwanted pregnancy. No help for STDs and might make that worse. I guess the Indians aren't into condoms despite the silly ad Marnia posted.

that's very interesting . i

that's very interesting . i never got a vasectomy because studies had shown that it was inconclusive to a rise in prostate cancer, hormone fluctuations etc. And the granulomas, not something i would be happy about. The only question remains is a balance of hormone levels and whether even this safer procedure would trigger a negative feedback loop that would cause testicular reduction and lowered testosterone levels in men.

Only problem is there's no

Only problem is there's no profit inscentive in reversible nonhormonal completely safe options for men. Hence, the options that exist, not available. Major bummer, but not if you practice partner-based birth control.

hotspring, i'll definately

hotspring,

i'll definately have to cross that road when i get to it again. (could be awhile-lol) but i did practice that with my exwife. However, we had two children late in our marriage and after learning about her bpd and since the demise of our relationship i will also have to get over my fear of trusting in that (i believe she lied about her cycles to become pregnant- long story)

but moving forward anything is possible, and i thank you for the information. I so appreciate all of you and this forum!

btw did your partner use this method of birth control or what do both of you do ?

Yes, it does take awhile to

Yes, it does take awhile to trust this method as we are largely trained to trust pills more than our own bodies and attention to our cycles. It took me about two years of practicing this method before I stopped being fearful of an accidental pregnancy. I've used it for almost eight years or so with no unwanted pregnancy, and in my current partnership as well. After eight years, my body has "gotten the message" aparently, through out-loud verbalizations every month that I've been sexually active over the past years, that it is not time. I have no fear about this method at all anymore and feel it is totally reliable (i do have a regular cycle tho - clearly it would be more difficult between two people who did not trust eachother, were not tuned into fertile times, or if the woman had an irregular cycle).

It will be interesting to see how long it takes me to conceive once we do choose to bring our little one into the world . . .

quizzure, do you have a high

quizzure,

do you have a high carbohyddrate diet? the reason i ask is that women with polycystic ovary issues tend to have high testosterone and low progesterone. The diets high in carbs can actually throw off the hormone balance in some women. signs of this are increased weight gain, water weight and blood sugar fluctations.

I'm 99% sure I don't have PCOS

I looked up the symptoms - and it's the leading cause of infertility. http://www.womenshealth.gov/faq/polycystic-ovary-syndrome.cfm#d I've been anything but infertile, but aside from being fat since I was born (10lb 2oz), and the random period thing, I would say I don't have it. In fact, when I was at my worst - 2 pints low on blood because of a heavy month long period, the doctor said that I was still fertile, based on my FSH levels. I think I was 45 or 46 at the time. They put me on 1 year of Premarin (Oh goody, horse urine!) to control the bleeding, and that worked. I'm now 53.

At this point, I'm ready to be done with having periods at all.

Given that the SAD diet is high-carb, and the government plate/pyramid diet is high-carb, high carb is the standard diet. You'd think most women would have PCOS if high-carb is the cause. Maybe they do.

Since I'm already a 'chemist', I own a blood glucose meter and test my levels regularly, and I don't show any problems there.

I am currently eating a low-carb diet, Paleo/Primal + low lactose/full fat dairy (cheese and pastured jersey cream/butter). We'll see if it eases the transition to full on Crone-hood!

Quizure

Goddesses like inspiring men to conquer dragons.
-Marnia

Quizure, thanks for sharing,

Quizure,

thanks for sharing, i know a practitioner that designed homeopathic remedies specifically for women and hormone balancing.
She does have a book about it and some articles on her website: www.wellnesscenter.net

there can be many causes and i just threw out one. sorry if it came off presumptive, it is just more common because of "standard american diet" etc.

The RISUG plug is

The RISUG plug is nonhormonal. Another method (forget the name), creates an ionic charge that kills the sperm as it leaves, and is nonhormonal. The Male Contraceptive Information Project outlines other nonhormonal methods for men, mostly through use of the neem plant.

Yeppers, hormonal

Yeppers, hormonal intervention is yucky, for anyone, even those who have never had to do it! That's why I point out in my article on nonhormonal male birth control that I posted here a long time ago that I would never ever wish it on anyone, not our beloved men much less our water supply and the creatures that have to live in our effluent of pill waste.

I learned very quickly that taking the pill was antithetical to my emotional, physical, and spiritual wellbeing.

Putting men on hormones is a very scary thought. If its bad for one half of the population (and it is), it will be bad for the other half.