Hi folks, this is my first post on this site. I hope I can provide some ideas of value.
The short story: 7 days into my first no orgasm trial, I decided to masturbate without orgasm. It was awesome, and I didn’t orgasm. I felt awesome afterwards.
The long story...
For some context, I’m I guy, 27 years old, not addicted to porn.
Okey, so now what happened. I wanted to have sex, but my girlfriend is not around for a few days. I read here that masturbation without energy circulation exercises is very frustrating, so I was worried I would set off cravings and make it harder on myself to make it the full 14 days (I have 7 more to go) without orgasm. But I had been desiring masturbation for almost a day, so finally decided to go for it. I got some lube and got going. I spent over an hour and a half masturbating, I had so much pleasure I just wanted to keep going.
One important difference this time compared to how I normally do it is that this time I generally avoided stimulating much the posterior side of the glans (the side where the frenulum is, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Frein_du_pr%C3%A9puce.jpg ), and focused on the anterior side of the glans (the anterior side is the one that touches your belly button if you take the penis towards it. Here’s a picture to clarify: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Anteriorglanspenis.jpg ). I think this made a huge difference. When I masturbate without porn the normal way, I feel an urge to cum in just a minute. The stimulation builds up and I want to explode. I can control the urge to ejaculate by easing on the stimulation. Normal masturbation stimulates the anterior side (it stimulates everything, but the anterior side is more sensitive for me). However this time, by focusing on the posterior side, I was able to experience pleasure for a lot of time, because very strangely the urge to ejaculate just didn’t build up, so as a side consecuence I also didn’t have to practice much control of anything. The pleasure was very intense at times. It goes without saying that I was doing it without porn, and I think this also was a good choice, because the entire time I was focusing on the sensations and pleasure, instead of being focused on what I'm seeing.
So if you ever try to jack off without orgasm, I would recommend stimulating only the anterior part of the penis. I don’t know how this could work for porn addicts trying to go through reboot, I just know it worked for me. Tip: The lube (KY gelly) was really "handy" for this kind of anterior stimulation.
I also did quite a bit of deep breathing during the thing, and generally felt quite relaxed. The erection wained a bit sometimes and came back when I wanted. Instead of being super excited trying to stave off eruption for a few more minutes like when I normally masturbate, this time I was having a great time but also relaxed. I applied a couple of tips I remember from reading one of Mantak Chia’s books, such as caressing my entire body while at it, which felt good and probably helped get some oxytocin going (some years ago I would have tough that to be “totally gay”, but luckily it didn’t take away any of my heterosexuality! ), and also touching the prostate region as well as the entire penis, as opposed to just the tip of it.
I could have gone on and on, but after over an hour and a half decided to let it go. The erection went away easily (a lot sooner than if I had done it the normal, hyperexciting way but without orgasm). When I ended, I felt the same “orgasm high” I normally feel the next 5 minutes after really intense masturbation with very stimulating porn and with 3 or 4 ejaculations (at least for me this is what produces the most “high”). And most importantly I felt really peaceful, for the next hour particularly. Also I was more alert than I would be after orgasm. It will be really interesting to see what happens tomorrow, if I crave sex or if I don’t think of it like what usually happens the day after I have sex or jack off. Ideally it will have filled my “I-got-enough-of-it tank” for a couple of days. At least that’s how I feel now, 3 hours afterwards. Last night and several times during this day I wanted to masturbate and the thought of it was in and out of my head, so it’s really great to feel no desire now.
Some background on me...
I’m not addicted to porn, though I did use to get off to porn. I started very young in high school with porn, first magazines, then images on the internet, and finally free streaming videos came around. Luckily my cycle was usually that, for 2 or 3 days I would feel no significant sexual desire, then sometime 2 or 3 days after my last orgasm I would get horny, grab some porn and get off. My porn tastes never escalated, they’ve been the same since early high school. The frequency of orgasm also never escalated much. Porn didn’t create a need in me, it just enhanced the experience of wanking when I wanted to do it (it felt like the experience generated a lot more dopamine and stronger orgasms than when I masturbated without porn). So that was all good and well, back then. I even had a girlfriend some years ago and never had much trouble with impotence. The relationship lasted 2 years. I went back to porn when that was over. I’m now back in a relationship, only that with my current girlfriend I’ve had bouts of impotence right from when we first started having sex. At first I was really worried because my erections were very unreliable when we wanted to have sex. It went on for a month and then generally disappeared. Only a long time later I made the connection between porn and impotence. When I took up porn again (still in my current relationship, but sometimes I would want to masturbate), some weeks later I would start having episodes of impotence. It was horrible. I was so much more attracted to the exciting figures of women in porn than to my girlfriend, but I had to refrain from watching porn in fear that if I did, my friend might just not work when we had sex. The picture was looking quite gloomy. There was no way my girlfriend would measure up to a porn actress, even though the relationship is very satisfying outside of sex, but I didn’t just want to stop having sex. I even fantasized that when the relationship was over (if ever) I would wank off to porn every morning. Also I figured that it was much more likely that I would have impotence if we had sex before 2 days had elapsed, but ideally 3, since my last orgasm, so I did a lot of counting days and trying to predict the future (when we would have sex, figuring out if I had enough time to chuck in some wanking off before), which as you can imagine was quite stressful.
So here’s where Cupid’s book comes in the picture. I found it by looking for porn addiction. At first the idea that there could possibly be ANYTHING wrong with orgasm seemed totally nuts, and I’ve read it before on other books and discarded it without second thoughts. This time I decided to give it a try, for 2 weeks, chiefly because I’ve never gone so far since about I was 9 years old, so if the “passion cycle” really exists, I’ve never come out the other end to have some perspective (I hadn’t found this “2 weeks” idea in other books). I anticipated a lot of blue balls and sexual frustration from having sex without orgasm, also because my girlfriend thinks the no orgasm idea is total nonsense, so she wouldn’t be interested in karezza. To my utter surprise, we’ve so far had sex on two ocassions without orgasm, and I was fine afterwards. And then of course today’s play was awesome without orgasm.
So far, so good. Looking forward to crossing the 2 week line.
If anyone else tries the trick of stimulating only the anterior part of the penis, share your experience, how you felt afterwards, and also please mention whether you have a problem with porn or not (I'm curious to know how that affects the experience). Of course, if you are trying to reboot from a porn addiction, it would probably be easier for you to totally avoid any kind of masturbation, so I hope you don't find this idea "inspiring".
And if you're a woman, it would be great to know if there's a way like this to get off alone that releases sexual tension (as opposed to creating frustration).