Relapse.... but not quite..

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on
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As you can tell my numbers from withdrawal are all over the place.. I initially went 4 weeks without PMO.. and it was great, I completely stopped touching my penis in anyway possible, but I noticed that my brain was extreamly cluttered and I didn't know what to do. As soon as I began to touch myself again my symptoms would disappear, but my porn related urges came back. So, on the fourth week I decided to look at porn because the combination of me touching myself was too strong for me to resist, but I did not masturbate. A couple day's later I gave in and had sex with one of my friends. It was great, but I still felt the guilt of watching P, so I decided to hop back on the no P train and give it another shot. Once again I kept my hands away from my crouch, and once again my mind became cluttered and I couldn't think straight. So as of today I watched porn again, but I didn't masturbate.. Again... Now again I will try to stop watching porn and not touch myself at all threw this process.. Hopefully my mind will not be cluttered this time, and I can finally put all this BS behind me and begin to live my life. I hope that by not touching myself, I'am doing the right thing and will eventually be able to pass this feeling of "cluttered thoughts".. Its very frustrating actually, my female friend tells me that I need to stop touching my privates because she notices I do it all the time, but when I stop.. my mind goes off and I can't communicate or I am not able to think straight, but when I do touch myself.. all of that goes away.. IDK if its the addiction, or whatever.. but it is pretty real.. and I can stay away from porn if I don't touch myself.. and I can't stay away if I do.. its hard to understand I guess.. but hey.. this is what is troubling me.. I would like to hear some feedback from my fellow bloggers..

Thank You for reading....

Try two months

and see what you notice.

Or try orgasm without porn on a schedule of every 2? 3? weeks. Frequent compromises usually don't help.

As you know, arousal raises dopamine. That's what sharpens your mind. But there are other ways to raise dopamine: exercise, doing something generous for someone else, time in nature, regular mediation.

If you keep relying on sexual arousal as your only "medicine," you may keep going around in circles. Smile