I need to know how you do it bro, your exact technique!! I presume that you just satisfy her without your penis first, and then move onto some karezza after, keeping you both happy? Also do you always get that lovely oxytocin cuddly warm buzz when you practice ? Its the best feeling in the world!
(Darryl) The way I handled not orgasming back while my wife continued to, was simply to say "stop" or "slow down" when I was too close to the edge. Sometimes I would just signal with my hands on her hips. The key is that your girl honors your wishes not to orgasm and will stop when you need it. It's to her benefit, as you can go on much longer, are almost always ready for her, and your sexual sensitivity increases—all good things for the woman.
Two things will happen to make it easier for you. One, the more you don't orgasm the easier it gets not too, even if she's more active. Second, her vagina will become more sensitve as the high friction type sex decreases. The more sensitive she becomes the more she will naturally want to slow down and the easier it will be for her to have an orgasm without a lot of movement. This is good for your control.
I think it's common that a woman can get even more into orgasming for a while when the guy stops. Lets her have more control and go on as long as she likes. It's like the woman gets to be in the driver's seat and she often likes it for a while. The good news is it probably won't last. A woman's body intuition is strong and she will want to explore not orgasming herself. I think it's best not to push it (just as you are). Let her come to it on her own. She will. In return, ask her to respect your desire not to orgasm and slow down when you need her to. This aggreement worked quite well between my wife and me. A little communication is all you need. Work as a team.
As far as satisfying her orgasm before intercourse, we did not do this. In fact, we really moved away from oral sex. Once I stopped orgasming, it became really clear to both of us that all the enjoyment and energy was between the penis and vagina. So other forms of sexual interaction simply fell away. I think you will find your penis, and especially her vagina, will become much more sensitive. It's like the vagina wakes up and becomes alive in a new wonderful way. Do what you need to do to maintain control, but I would move away from highly stimulating stuff.
Remember, all this will take time. Figure a good six months to really get into a consistent flow. It's a great journey. Enjoy the ride, even when you fall off. Some folks tend to get down on themselves when they slip over the edge and orgasm. I always say, "Get up, dust yourself off, and climb right back in the saddle." Don't waste any time on self flagellation.
That lovely oxytocin cuddly warm buzz? Absolutely. All the time. There's nothing like it. The other thing I love is the feeling of, "I can never get enough of you." Considering we've been married and together for 28 year, this is really saying something. I wish you the same when you're 56.
Exchange with guy considering a gradual switchover to karezza
So much has happened since I stopped PMO, it's feels like a lifetime ago when I made my first blog here.
I've met an amazing girl, we have SO much in common it's absurd, she's literally the summation of what I've fantasized about in daydreams.
I don't even know where to start.
It's an amazing and quite insane story of how we met. But I'm in need of some guidance first lol
This isn't too new for me, I've had regular relationships before. They didn't last very long, but I have a feeling that after employing the theory of Karezza into our time together is what's making our connection grow more and more, despite the regular Orgasmic sex.
I met her and that same night, we had crazy Orgasmic Sex. This was the first time I had an orgasm in a month at the least. So there was ALOT built up behind it lol
We kept seeing each other and kept having Orgasmic Sex. After the first time we were both on a cloud the next day. But what I've noticed is that we've slowly started to drive ourselves into the ground from having this kind of sex literally 2-3 times a day. Physically and mentally we find ourselves being drained. She'll get really sore, and have headaches, and I'll be really tired and have a hard time keeping an erection with all of the Orgasms I've had :p Condoms are EXTREMELY annoying too I might add, and we're having a time trying to find the right one for this kind of activity.
My Body cant take that, and neither can hers :p
So here we are. Young 'star crossed' lovers whom cant keep their hands off of each other- like when we say goodbye, we literally have to give ourselves half an hour of kissing time before we part ways, yah we're THAT couple haha :DD- and are totally into each other, but at the same time are passively being pushed away by the effects of Orgasmic Sex.
What I'm doing right now to mitigate these effects, is spending ALOT of time cuddling, kissing, eye gazing, and playing with my lady. This kind of affection REALLY has a big affect on her feelings for me and overshadows that dissonance we sometimes have the day after orgasmic sex. We feel SO close and inseparable when we do this. We vibe so much I swear they can feel it the resonance across the street. We connect on a level that I KNOW young people our age will probably never experience due to the PMO epidemic happening these days. We feel these kind of things and we KNOW it's special, and something that doesn't happen often or by chance. It makes us all the more determined to stay together for as long as possible. We actually look forward to this kind of activity MORE than Orgasmic Sex.
But I'm feeling like we're sort of in a pickle at the moment.
We both have this socially conditioned desire to have Orgasmic Sex, but at the same time we this natural feeling of not wanting to. Every time we have it this 'expectation bar' that is being raised higher for the next time, and we're both expected to surpass it.
I've introduced her to the idea of Karezza, and she seemed indifferent to the thought of it. She figured it would be 'boring' during intercourse, but then she also loved the idea of getting closer with me.
So here's my question: Should we jump into this Karezza cloud immediately and start embracing it fully? Or should we keep having Orgasmic sex but slowly and progressively start to limit it by decreasing the amount of times we do that and start increasing the cuddling :D
We are on Day 2 of no sex and not seeing each other at, so our desire for each other has gone up tremendously.
Any tips, guidance, or anything at all would be awesome; not just on this Karezza idea, but also on the first steps of young and blooming relationship in general. This is an exciting time for the both of us, and we both want to make sure that it lasts. I truly believe Karezza holds the key to that.
I transitioned instantly to Karezza and I don't think half measures work.
Even if you do orgasm sometimes, you can still last a lot longer and begin a depth of pleasure and connection that is so far beyond orgasm.
And then you get back on the horse and try again. You may take to it instantly or it may take some "work" but it is so worth it. And there isn't a way or desirable goal of transitioning. You start by trying to avoid coming and stop looking at sex as a way to reach orgasm and everything changes for the better.
So glad you are open to this. You wll have the most wonderful feelings you have ever had in your life, I trust.
The formula is:
1. Spend a ton of time bonding, holding hands, naked cuddling, cuddling with clothes on, kissing.
2. Non-orgasmic intercourse
3. Give it three weeks of this if you can.
Your life will never be the same and you'll feel like this is the greatest gift after just being alive. That's my experience anyway.
Should you jump into karezza now? Well, only good will come from doing so, there is no down side to beginning now. On the other hand, not doing so will most likely result in a very high probability that you will hit the wall in the future and wish you had. Easing into karezza is usually not a successful approach as every orgasm encorages another and continues the brain pathways in that direction. Beginning karezza is not unlike giving up POM, you're most successful by cutting the cord and making a commitment. Now you may fall off and have orgasms inadvertently but its the commitment that will make the difference.
I think the real question is, are you ready to? Something inside has to say, "I want this and will give it my best" Giving up orgasming is rarely easy, especially in a new relationship, and somewhere inside you have to have made up your mind to do so. If you dont find some core place that has made to choice, your attempts will most likely not have the "juice" you'll need to sustain your efforts. If you do, you'll quickly find the energy that is being syphoned off into hot orgasms will instead go into deepening your connection. Practicing karezza now will build the foundation of connection, which in the long run will keep your relationship alive with vibrancy and meaningful sexuality. It may feel like the great orgasms you are having are bonding you together but you will see in the future that this is not so. Even if your lady is not interested you can still make the commitement yourself. May not be easy, but if you do you will set the tone for what the relationship will become. Be the man, set the direction, if you're really ready to do so.
Awesome Responses everyone. Thank you :D
I am Ready.
I have been ever since I began this journey, and with the momentum we have now, there's no point in hesitation :)
I've decided we're going to jump into it balls out. What I need to know are a couple of details in the mechanics behind Karezza, and what is considered non-Karezza.
First off, I should mention this now that it's fresh in my memory. When my lady and I had our first sexual encounter, I was doing it very roughly and hard, but I didn't Orgasm. However, she Orgasmed a bunch of times that night. The next day I felt like a God (literally on no hours of sleep) and she was dancing and bubbly all day too lol.
I saw her that next day and we had sex twice. I Orgasm-ed BOTH times. After that, our energy levels went down hill from there REAL fast.
Now here's my question, is 'light intercourse' open to interpretation? It seems ambiguous, and if I go at a normal pace, and focus on emotion/immersion more than dominance, I feel like I'm still getting that Karezza effect. How 'light' is light intercourse? Does it have to be little motions? Or can it be any movement/motion that is dependent on the couple's non-climatic thresholds? I feel that I can find a pace that is normal and go forever because I have no intention of Orgasming; if I want to Orgasm then I'm going to have to intensify the movement substantially. I read that there's supposed to be hardly any thrusting, and more of just you stick it in and kind of move your hips very lightly together. Any affirmation, or correction on what I'm picking up from this is welcome :)
Also, another very important question I have atm. Can you have Karezza with a condom on? Or do you need to be skin to skin to get that true intangible effect? From a glance, It seems unnecessary to have one, since you're intentions don't revolve around orgasms with Karezza. But at the same time, condoms are necessary to just to be sure no accidents happen. My lady and I would like to use them but are uncertain on how it will affect this new type of sex. Any experience with this or ideas are welcome :)
I'm very excited about this, and so is she. Just from employing daily Karezza bonding activities (like what Emerson mentioned) she's experiencing feelings and emotions so blissful and different than what she's accustomed to. But the Orgasmic Sex definitely makes our progression an uphill battle.
She's following my lead, and I'm going to take us to a realm where few in our generation have gone.