Masturbation, Transitional Celibacy

Submitted by WilliamC on
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A life altering event happened to me about 13 months ago which has led me to accpet that I'm addicted to masturbation and pornography. I'm not ready to go into the details yet; but I've decided to share with you my journey from here forward. On May 14, 2007 I decided to give up masturbation totally and enter a period of transitional celibacy. I had one slip on June 1st and have not masturbated since that day. I now have 20 days of sexual sobriety. This seems amazing to me. When I first met Marnia and Gary a few years ago, I attempted this practice, but could only manage to "stay on the wagon" for 10 days before I'd jump off and begin masturbating again. I would attempt to stop but could not. In the past 13 months I've begun to do 12-Step recovery work and attend meetings. I don't believe that I could have gotten this far without the support of people in the 12-Step rooms. I have a sponsor, whom I call every day. This has been an enormous help. I have been struggling mightily with the lust of the mind. I have so much pornography hard wired into my brain. Sometimes the fantasies come to me in waves. I think that not feeding these negative fantasies by masturbating to them has been of huge benefit. I had a thought the other day that this is something like a meditation practice. In meditation they say you should just allow the thought to come and go; then gently bring your consciousness back to the meditation object. Perhaps my "meditation object" is simply sobriety and that when I have the thoughts of lust, I can gently bring my mind back to the desire to be sober.

I'd be thrilled if we could have a dialog and support each other in this process.

William Cerf
Brooklyn, NY


Thanks for sharing. I'm really happy for you. Sounds like it should be getting easier and easier.

I remember what a friend told me about withdrawal when he quit smoking. He said the intensity of the cravings was just as great, even six months later. But what changed was their frequency...until he no longer had any cravings for ciggies.

So don't be discouraged on days when it feels like you've made no progress because the fantasies are especially intense. Just realize that the "attacks" will decrease in frequency if you stay with your intention.

Finally, just for grins, have you seen the chapter on masturbation in the material I just added to the site? It's 60 years old, but the way von Urban analyzes is is kinda interesting.
It confirms the important benefits of soothing touch from a partner.

A big hug,