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Submitted by time_for_change on
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It's been a while, but I thought I'd make an entry to keep track.

Still going well, I seem to have settled into a good state of mind and am mostly rejecting fantasy as soon as it arises. I've lapsed a bit with meditation recently, and I've had some fantasy thoughts start to take hold, so I must return to that. Tackling fantasy really is the key for me, because if I can keep it in check then I don't get any urges to masturbate or look at porn, it's like I don't even have to deal with them.

One thing that bothers me though is that I still have at the back of my mind the thought that it would be nice to look at some mild porn. I have enough experience now to know that it always escalates, always ends in tears, but I can still feel it there. I don't know if that will ever go away.

Comments

I think we all have

I think we all have long-term memory of the porn images we used to like. I think that is your Back of the Mind feeling. After 27 days I still get little flash images but I am using the Red X technique described her by many, thought it was funny the first time I read about it now I rely on it a lot.

Maybe immediately shift your thoughts to a very constructive activity, immediately. Build something, draw something, play something, read something, listen to music, start to jog or workout, cook something, get out and socialize or meditate on something.

This is all good, you are doing great just by asking these important questions.

Stay strong, you are great.

I think it may

go away. One guy here (who arrived to chat about karezza), who had escaped porn years earlier with the help of a support group said that by three years later, he could see a porn cue and feel no urge to click. I didn't think to ask him your specific question, but brain plasticity is brain plasticity. The less you exercise a brain loop, the more overgrown with moss it becomes. smiley

Glad to hear you're doing well.

*big hug*

Red X

Thanks fcjl8 for the Red X tip... I kind of do something similar with a loud "No!" (in my head), but that's adding a visual too which should strengthen things. It's funny, when I read "Red X" it sounded like some exotic technique, but I laughed when I looked it up - it is literally a "red X" :)

Thanks Marnia - I like mossy places, moss-covered areas in Japanese gardens, very calming :)

Hey there

I don't think I have any advice at the moment, but just wanted to say thanks. You responded to some of my more recent posts here awhile ago, and I don't think I ever acknowledged that. I do appreciate it! Thank you! I too am discovering what you have discovered: It all begins with fantasy! Nip that in the bud, and we're mostly good.