Even though I am starting on Days 5 & 6, you can see why I decided to give up porn and the problems I am facing by going here http://www.reuniting.info/node/11441. I would read this before reading my blog to get more of a background of what is going on. Furthermore, since this is anonomous I will try not to sugarcoat anything that happens during this process because I dont think it helps me or anyone reading this if I dont tell exactly what happens and the the consequences that result from it.
Submitted by Stallion Returns on Tue, 2012-01-10 16:31
Guys hi.....This is my first blog to this site and hopefully first after i recovered. Today i completed my 8 weeks with one relapse to M...My brief history...
I am healthy 28 years old male. I always had high sex drive. I was never involved in too much porn, for me it was always a glimpse or occasional viewing. I use to do 'M' almost daily before around 1.5 years. But life suddenly changed after august 2010 when i brought broadband connection. I use to watch extreme porn scenes and use to do "M"....6 months and i got hooked...
I stumbled on YBOP website after realising I had some trouble getting erections when masturbating. My erections are now becoming spontaneous and I have morning wood -definitely a good sign of sexual health- but that is not really what I feel concerned about.
I've read other user's stories about "feeling good again", "having the colours come back to their life", "becoming social and self-confident".
Many thanks to Marnia and everyone on this site for reading/ blogging and generally sharing experiences. Let's hope 2012 brings the changes we're looking for.
Just wanted to share something I talked with my therapist about. For a personal already prone to anxiety, porn (especially harder porn) can be especially devastating. If you're mind has a lower threshold for stimulation, then porn can quickly escalate, potentially more so than in others. In addition, porn may be used as a mask/ escape for anxieties just as other stimulants may be.
DAY TEN 10/31: Today is the morning after my MO slip up. I am glad to say that I have not had a bad chaser effect. I woke up "intact" so I'm happy about that. I've noticed that the more distance I have from PMO, especially P and visual stimuli the better I feel and the more frequent my morning wood is. With the exception of this blog I've deleted my accounts to all other social networking sites. Getting away from the bombardment of pictures, music, videos, newsfeeds, and overwhelming ad banners will only help me.
Okay, Thebeg (http://www.reuniting.info/user/6330) told me that writing down my feelings about something that happened 2 days ago might help me so here I go.
I was invited to a social gathering that I knew the girl I like would be at, I got to the place and as soon as I saw her I started feeling nervous and shy (I talked to her 2 days before and I was fine) I went to talk to my friends and we didn't say hi to each other or anything like that.
Philip Zimbardo: The demise of guys?
This 6 minute talk hits the nail on the head. If you have had trouble with porn, or social anxiety, or school, you need to watch this.
The last time that I made a blog post here, I was moaning that I couldn't type with two hands because of a surgery that wrapped one of them in immobile bandages. Since then, my left arm has healed a lot, and now I can move it around freely. Doctor told me today that although my physical therapy is done, I have two months left before I can try lifting weights again and doing something about my poor body image.
so I'm happy about that. I've noticed that the more distance I have from PMO, especially P and visual stimuli the better I feel and the more frequent my morning wood is. With the exception of this blog I've deleted my accounts to all other social networking sites. Getting away from the bombardment of pictures, music, videos, newsfeeds, and overwhelming ad banners will only help me.