Is intense sexual stimulation tied to unnatural modern conditions?

Human males masturbate to ejaculation more often, and more intensely, than any other animal. In captivity, monkeys and lions also masturbate, but it is a practice rarely observed among most animals in the wild.

The current theory is that we humans masturbate more because we can fantasize.

Desire sometimes ratchets upward soon after hot sex.

Does "the more you scratch, the more you itch" sometimes apply to sexual jollies? Is the reverse true? Intriguingly, the Chinese noticed a "ratcheting up of sexual desire after orgasm" thousands of years ago. Men today do too:

I sometimes feel hornier in the days following orgasm. At such times, I also have strong feelings of attraction for other women (even though I'd never want to have sex with anyone other than my partner).—Tom

My new girlfriend and I got each other off, and now, a day or two later, I'm definitely noticing powerful urges to masturbate and look at porn again (after three months porn-free). It seems so contradictory that our heavy petting would trigger this, but it's happening. I'm masturbating more and I even looked at homemade porn yesterday.

Would we be happier without online pornography?

A few years ago, men from all over the world began arriving in my website’s forum complaining that they were unable to stop using Internet porn. Google had sent them—perhaps because my site shares information about the effects of sex on the brain. My site, however, is about relationships, not recovery. Yet their obvious distress, and porn’s impact on their relationships, motivated me to welcome them. As I listen, these visitors support each other in the struggle to leave porn behind.

Often they report dramatic changes as porn use recedes: more energy, increased social confidence, better concentration, greater gains from workouts, stronger erections, a return to earlier sexual tastes, increased optimism, and more enjoyment from life’s subtler pleasures. In short, many men are happier without Internet pornography.

Will an orgasm a day really keep the doctor away?

Several years ago, men began showing up in my website's forum struggling to end compulsive porn use. Gradually, they worked out that a period of abstinence often helps reboot their brains. (Initially, their sexual arousal is so tightly wired to porn images and flashbacks that foregoing orgasm for a time can speed re-wiring and stave off binges).

Discussions naturally arose about whether frequent ejaculation is needed for health reasons. Surprisingly, there is no consensus on the answer. There is, however, a wide gap between popular lore and the views of most reproductive health experts.

I'm blogging for a new online magazine called, "The GOOD MEN Project." My first post is up. It was originally entitled, "The Monogamy Challenge," but then the PR people got hold of it.

Here it is:

Cupid's Ammo

"Financiers take too many risks; scientists do not take enough." --Seth Roberts

When your appetite changes, your perception changes. Think about how uninviting that fifth slice of pizza is compared with that delectable first slice. Recent brain research is revealing a disturbing phenomenon: intense natural stimuli can interfere with our brain’s normal appetite satiation mechanism. By numbing the pleasure response of the brain, such stimuli can make pleasures less satisfying. The effects linger for weeks. The result is less overall enjoyment and contentment, even though the superstimuli continue to register as especially “valuable.”

Could this sneaky primitive mechanism also be at play in our love lives? We can’t say, because it hasn’t been studied.

Want to use your relationship to de-stress? Try something playful and totally unfamiliar: three weeks of brief, daily bonding behaviors.

Humans are pair bonders. That means an ancient region of our brain is wired slightly differently from the 97 percent of mammal species who don't pair bond. We're built to register regular, affectionate touch and close, trusted companionship with a mate as especially soothing and rewarding. (If you're single, you can get a lot of the same benefits from friendly interaction with your pals. Remember the hugs!)

Beware the brain numbed to pleasure.

Are you gauging the value of your relationship by how often you have sex? Is your mate starting to react to your every gesture of affection as pressure to "get it on?"

If so, you may be victims of a primitive brain mechanism that promises satisfaction—but delivers its opposite. It can put couples out of sync sexually. (This is especially likely after your one-time booster shot of honeymoon neurochemistry has worn off.)

Want your female partner to try karezza with you? Choose the two weeks after her ovulation to begin.

A recent article in Scientific American Mind explains that levels of estrogen and progesterone both impact a woman's susceptibility to stimuli. Estrogen is the gas; progesterone the brakes. Well sort of. Progesterone apparently protects against impulsivity, and it is higher during the two weeks beginning with ovulation (the so-called "luteal phase").