Overcoming The Monogamy Challenge

Has your sex life become so dissatisfying that you feel restless with your marriage, or even resentful of your spouse?

Marnia Robinson joins us to take a look at the science behind why steamy romance is destined to fade, what that means for the future of marriage, as well as to share some of her 31 tips for reengaging sexually with your spouse.

Portland, OR's KBOO show "Pathways" recently featured this interview by Tom Park.

Listen to the interview here.

In this audio presentation, Sarah and Joseph Malinak, a couple who host a show on "creating your ideal relationship" interview me about Cupid's Poisoned Arrow. At the last minute, we found we were able to use our speaker phone, so Gary joined me.

The first third of the hour-long program consists of Sarah and Joseph discussing various points. The actual interview is about a half-hour long. They also include their post-interview wrap up.

Listen to the interview

Listen to PsychJourney president Deborah Harper interview Marnia about Cupid's Poisoned Arrow. The interview is 37 minutes long.

Scott blossom speaks on male sexuality and brahmacarya

Interview by Lisa Maria

A Traditional Chinese Medical practitioner and yoga therapist, Scott Blossom holds a degree in biology and has extensively studied anatomy, physiology, and Ayurveda with Dr. Robert Svoboda. Scott travels and writes extensively, teaching yoga and Ayurveda with his wife of seven years, Chandra Easton.

An Interview with June Campbell on Codes of Secrecy and Silence

An idealistic young Scottish woman goes East to study Buddhism. Twenty-five years later she delivers a radical and unsparing critique of religious structures in Tibet. How much of this system is taking root in West? And how much of it do we really want? June Campbell studied Tibetan Buddhism in monasteries in India in the early 1970's. Subsequently she traveled throughout India, Europe, and North America as a translator and interpreter for various Tibetan lamas. Her book Traveler in Space examines the patriarchy of Tibet's political, religious, and social structures, and the real and symbolic role of women in Tibetan society. Today Ms. Campbell teaches women's studies and religious studies in Edinburgh. This interview was conducted by Helen Tworkhov in New York in June 1996. All text in tinted boxes is excerpted from Traveler in Space, available in the United States from George Braziller, Inc.

Rebecca:

Marnia Robinson's book is an engagingly written & enlightening antidote for people confused by the emotional chaos in their sexual lives.

You pose many stark questions about why our sexual relationships fail, so often. Why do we fall "out of love"? Did our grandparents? Our ancestors?

Marnia:

We fall out of love because we're biologically-programmed to do so. The primitive part of our brain urges us toward behaviors that pass on the most genes. Unfortunately for us romantics, the key behaviors are (1) a craving for intense passion, followed by (2) an unconscious urge to separate, & (3) a tendency to repeat the pattern with a new partner (yielding greater genetic variety among offspring). Now that the Sexual Revolution has freed us, Biology's agenda is glaringly obvious. I believe its hidden agenda accounts for the Census Bureau's 2002 prediction that half of all new marriages could end in divorce, & for Dr. Phil's statement that "sexless marriages are an epidemic".

We so want to believe that romantic love is designed to last forever that we regard anyone who says otherwise with deep suspicion. However, I don't think we can improve our statistics until we realize that Biology's goals are not our goals if we want a lasting, romantic relationship. There IS a way to keep romance alive, but we can't do it by blindly dancing to Biology's tune.

&, yes, I believe our grandparents & ancestors suffered from this same problem. It's almost proverbial that "the honeymoon lasts less than a year." Church, state & social stigma kept most of our ancestors locked in matrimony until death parted them, no matter how miserable or unfaithful they were. It's worth noting, however, that infidelity occurred even when the punishment was to burn at the stake. Our primal urges (which, again, are geared toward replicating offspring) are even more powerful than our inclination toward self-preservation. Yet these urges do not serve our individual well-being. Once we recognize that, we can learn a way around them.