NOTE: Also visit this page if you have questions about the actual practice of controlled intercourse.

What is Peace Between the Sheets about?

It's a clear, accurate explanation of why relationships that start out with so much potential often end up in frustration, miscommunication and hurt feelings. Peace offers a solution: making love differently.

Welcome! This website highlights the intriguing parallels between (1) modern neuroscience discoveries and (2) sacred sexuality traditions that emphasize the importance of using sex to achieve inner balance. Every major religion and many other traditions, both secular and spiritual, contain clues about the wisdom of learning to manage sex carefully to achieve greater wellbeing, relationship harmony and even heightened spiritual awareness.

Yet for the most part, sacred sex mysteries have remained in the shadows of mankind's awareness because they run counter to our most fundamental instincts. Now, however, science is revealing how those instincts, in the form of our primitive brain programming, may be acting as an emotional wedge between couples, negatively affecting our health and longevity, and contributing to our resistance. Indirectly they reveal why we might want to take a closer look at some of the wisdom of the past.

Fascinated by the neurochemistry of sex? Inspired by the ideals of sacred sexuality traditions? Tired of relationship disharmony?

• Learn more. Sign up for our free monthly newsletter, "Reuniting."
• Share your thoughts. See what others have to say. Search for a companion. Visit our forum.

For thousands of years, around the globe, spiritual teachers have taught that sex without orgasm improves harmony between mates, reduces cravings, increases wellbeing, and heightens spiritual awareness. Ancient Taoist master Lao Tzu taught this practice as "angelic dual cultivation." Jesus called it "the sacrament of the bridal chamber." Ninteenth-century American gynecologist Alice Bunker Stockham, MD christened it "Karezza." Fainter echoes survived in Tantric traditions, Chinese sexology treatises, Sufi writings, Jewish mysticism, and even in the courtly love literature of the Middle Ages.

What can science tell us about sex, orgasm and mating? Recent brain science discoveries reveal that sex is governed by the reward center of the limbic system in the brain. A Dutch scientist discovered that brain scans of orgasm closely resemble scans of shooting heroin. Other studies show that after orgasm a "sexual-satiation" neurochemical shoots up, and the neurochemistry affecting libido changes radically. In short, conventional sex can cause a hangover.

Any psychiatrist will confirm that our feelings are projected onto those around us. The natural neurochemical fluctuations that accompany fertilization-driven sex can therefore radically distort how we see our lover, both before and after sex.

Peace Between the Sheets is a well-reasoned, yet entertaining explanation of why relationships that start out with so much potential often end up in frustration, miscommunication and hurt feelings. In addition to recent scientific research and amusing annecdotes, Peace offers a solution: making love differently. It also contains a simple, step-by-step program of "Ecstatic Exchanges" for lovers who want to experience benefits for themselves.

Peace explains how conventional orgasm sets off a hidden cycle of over stimulation and stressful recovery (a "hangover"), which pushes lovers apart.

The seeds of the unwelcome separation between man and woman are sown in our first passionate encounter with a partner. In some of us they bloom so rapidly that a "one-night stand" results. In others they take time to yield their unfortunate fruit of separation. Although it offends our notions of romance, a common mechanism, or "biological wedge," drives this separation behavior.

• Ever wonder why intimate relationships are so fragile?
• Ever wish someone would just hand you a reliable set of instructions for relationship harmony?
• Ever feel like a malevolent force was undermining your love life despite your desperate efforts?

This website is about relationships, spirituality and sexuality. It's based on the rather startling premise that fertilization-driven sex creates an unsuspected problem for humanity...beyond the obvious crises of overpopulation, environmental devastation, and widespread starvation. Yet the message of this site is one of hope. Humankind possesses untapped potential for harmony and wellbeing through the medium of intimate relationships.