by L. Kevin Johnson
Note: This article is written specifically for men. But it is helpful for women to understand what a man needs to accomplish in order for them both to experience mutual, sexual harmony. Therefore it is recommended that couples work on the process together. It takes time to wean off the “mating sex” program and regularly engage in bonding behaviors, such as Karezza, with lots of cuddling in-between, holding hands, affectionate hugs, etc., before our brains start to rewire and build receptors that will enable us to experience the enjoyable effects of oxytocin, the “love hormone.”
Submitted by Marnia on Tue, 2011-05-17 13:25
This piece shares how one man discovered that learning to use sex as "a pure act of sharing" shifts perception in the direction of inner peace. Here's an excerpt (or read the entire piece).
... The problem we face is simple. Our fears of physical decline, of pain, of not surviving, of not feeling loved drives our ‘ego-sense of self’ within the primitive part of our brain mad and makes us grasp outwardly for relief from the discomfort we feel. Whatever we think will solve the immediate problem is what we go for and it is always determined by our conditioning, our circumstances and preferences. It doesn’t matter what form it takes because it’s always the same. We want relief from suffering.
Submitted by Marnia on Mon, 2010-10-25 15:12
If you correct your mind, the rest of your life will fall into place.
This is because the mind is the governing aspect of a human life.
Eliminate mental muddiness and obscurity; keep your mind crystal clear.
Quiet your emotions and abide in serenity.
--Hua Hu Ching (collection of Daoist wisdom)
Nervous about the Dow? Try the Dao. Esoteric traditions teach that our thoughts shape our experience of reality. In today's world, where structures that once seemed granite-solid are shattering like falling icicles, what ability could be more welcome than using conscious thoughts to bring about abundance, sanity and sustainability for a change?
Submitted by Marnia on Mon, 2009-01-12 15:30
Karezza is a gentle, affectionate form of intercourse in which orgasm is not the goal, and ideally does not occur in either partner while making love. Karezza gained its name from Alice Bunker Stockham, MD at the end of the nineteenth century. She based the name on the Italian word carezza, meaning “caress.”
Stockham was initially inspired by the work of John Humphrey Noyes, who taught a concept he called Male Continence, in which men opt to avoid ejaculation when conception is not desired. However, Stockham encouraged both partners to pass up orgasm,
Submitted by Marnia on Thu, 2008-09-11 11:40
Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy by Mantak Chia (with Michael Winn) was my first introduction to the wisdom of making love without striving for orgasm. This book made a big impression on me and I am very grateful to its authors. Chia, a neo-Taoist master, teaches men another way to manage their sexual energy, as well as the weakness in humanity's current habits. His book greatly expanded my understanding of my role as a lover, helping me to become a safer lover.
However, even before I stumbled upon the ancient account of Taoist lovemaking in the work ascribed to the famous Taoist sage, Laozi (or "Lao Tzu"), I realized that there was an inherent inconsistency in Chia’s teachings.
Submitted by Marnia on Fri, 2006-07-14 14:24
The Riddle of the Tree of Life
Cultivate the spiritual, the mental and physical desire, rather than those carnal desires that are gratified only for the moment.911-7
Submitted by Marnia on Fri, 2006-06-02 17:25
Yale Divinity School dean Harold Attridge asked this question recently in a short piece piece prepared in response to The Da Vinci Code. He concludes that such a relationship was improbable based on his interpretation of the Gospel of Philip, one of the codices discovered in the 1940’s in Upper Egypt near the town of Nag Hammadi.
Submitted by Marnia on Mon, 2005-11-14 21:32
"Is it wise to teach karezza (gentle lovemaking, which emphasizes relaxation rather than performance) without also teaching about the need to work on our egos?" asked someone. Yes.
Submitted by Marnia on Sat, 2005-08-27 17:34
"Since I heard your talk, I’ve sent your newsletter to several prospective girlfriends...just to test the water. None of them are too thrilled," said a discouraged male friend.
Alas, the prediction of J. William Lloyd in The Karezza Method has not yet come to pass. Early last century he assured readers that as the Women’s Movement grew, Karezza (controlled intercourse) would come into its own:
The more frequently [orgasm] is employed, the more love dies, romance evaporates, and a mere sexuality, a matter-of-fact relation, or plain dislike, takes the place of the glamour of courtship days. …
As women learn [Karezza’s] transcendent importance to their happiness and health, they will demand it and refuse all men that cannot supply that demand. That will be a force that cannot be withstood.
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