Karezza is a gentle, affectionate form of intercourse in which orgasm is not the goal, and ideally does not occur in either partner while making love. Karezza gained its name from Alice Bunker Stockham, MD at the end of the nineteenth century. She based the name on the Italian word carezza, meaning “caress.”

Stockham was initially inspired by the work of John Humphrey Noyes, who taught a concept he called, Male Continence, in which men opt to avoid ejaculation when conception is not desired. However, Stockham encouraged both partners to pass up orgasm,

Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy by Mantak Chia (with Michael Winn) was my first introduction to the wisdom of making love without striving for orgasm. This book made a big impression on me and I am very grateful to its authors. Chia, a neo-Taoist master, teaches men another way to manage their sexual energy, as well as the weakness in humanity's current habits. His book greatly expanded my understanding of my role as a lover, helping me to become a safer lover.

However, even before I stumbled upon the ancient account of Taoist lovemaking in the work ascribed to the famous Taoist sage, Lao Tzu, I realized that there was an inherent inconsistency in Chia’s teachings.

The Riddle of the Tree of Life

Cultivate the spiritual, the mental and physical desire, rather than those carnal desires that are gratified only for the moment.1

1. 1. 911-7

Yale Divinity School dean Harold Attridge asked this question recently in a short piece piece prepared in response to The Da Vinci Code. He concludes that such a relationship was improbable based on his interpretation of the Gospel of Philip, one of the codices discovered in the 1940’s in Upper Egypt near the town of Nag Hammadi.

"Is it wise to teach karezza (gentle lovemaking, which emphasizes relaxation rather than performance) without also teaching about the need to work on our egos?" asked someone. Yes. Karezza, or making love in a way that heals the emotional alienation between mates is one of the most powerful ways to quiet the ego - or multiple egos as some traditions hold. With this approach, we do not battle our egos.

"Since I heard your talk, I’ve sent your newsletter to several prospective girlfriends...just to test the water. None of them are too thrilled," said a discouraged male friend.

Alas, the prediction of J. William Lloyd in The Karezza Method [1] has not yet come to pass. Early last century he assured readers that as the Women’s Movement grew, Karezza (controlled intercourse) would come into its own:

The more frequently [orgasm] is employed, the more love dies, romance evaporates, and a mere sexuality, a matter-of-fact relation, or plain dislike, takes the place of the glamour of courtship days. …

As women learn [Karezza’s] transcendent importance to their happiness and health, they will demand it and refuse all men that cannot supply that demand. That will be a force that cannot be withstood.

"A Taste of Heaven"

"The Hidden Weakness in Sexual Union"

Tolstoy's The Kreutzer Sonata.[1] is a gut-wrenching tale of the hidden weakness in sexual union. A brilliant observer and recorder of human nature, Tolstoy realized that there was indeed an addictive cycle to conventional sex.

"Seizing Immortality from the Jaws of Impermanence"

"Tantra Is the Science of Transforming Ordinary Lovers into Soul Mates"

Tantra is one of the greatest treasures that is - lying there, unused. The day humanity uses it, the earth will become aglow with a new love….This very earth can be paradise….It is impossible if you depend on nature. It is very, very possible if you depend on Tantra. - Osho