I've struggled with my use of porn since I started masturbating in my youth (45 years ago). Of course, it was a hidden secret...my mother never said anything about the crusty sheets....or my father. I came out briefly in my 20's, brazenly putting up pictures of naked women in my room. I met my wife during that phase but went underground pretty quickly into our marriage. I got into SLA when we separated and didn't ever stay sober long. When we got back together I tossed the porn and didn't use it for a year.

Have I relapsed? I suppose in a way I have. I deliberately viewed porn images on my computer last night for at least an hour. When I saw the first image I felt a bolt of energy going through my stomach. I just had to see more and more and more. That's the problem isn't it? That's why porn addiction is so difficult to quit; it's only a click away, especially if you have wireless broadband and a laptop which you can take to bed with you! Maybe I should marry my laptop!

I have been seriously addicted to porn and have had a huge masturbation problem for many, many years. It has now been 10 days since I last had an orgasm or viewed porn. The period has been very challenging especially the last few days. I have actually masturbated but not climaxed. There are times when I really feel like giving up and the only thing that stops me is the thought that I know that I so desperately need to change my life, that failing in this might devastate me. I believe my main disadvantages are that I am unemployed at the moment and have very limited access to other people.

I find it difficult to understand why I have not been informed about the dangers of compulsive masturbation earlier in my life. I am, of course, open to the stigma and the embarrassing side of the subject and it is not easy to talk about it, especially to people you don’t know. But surely the medical profession, especially psychiatrists, psychologists, counsellors and family doctors should know that compulsive masturbation is a problem but maybe they don’t realize how serious it is.

I'm still coming to terms with all the time and energy I have thrown away by my addiction to masturbation and pornography. I feel better as a person probably not only because I've stopped masturbating but because I have decided that my life has to change. I am definately feeling calmer and my concentration is improving. My drive however, is still a little lacking. The difficulty now of course is to find activities to fill the hole in a life which was previously filled with the obsession with viewing internet porn and it's subsequent dopamine kick through self abuse.

Hi all

I am new to the site and the concept of Reuniting. I have a copy of the Peace between the Sheets (PBS) at my nightstand and reads it with great interest. I think the message is revolutionary and it gives me great hope for the future and a better understanding of myself. Thanks Marnia !

Sat, 17th January 2009

My usual - day after- effects of a moderately heavy social call on a friends involving 2 bottles of wine and some beer, would be a sure downer. Instead, after a long and more than satisfying sleep, void of the mandatory pre shut-eye jerk-off, I woke up so differently from the past. More positive energy, even though I think I have a conventional hangover! What I have noticed is that I don't have the sexual frustration or strong desire to masturbate or look at porn as I thought I would have by abstaining.

Hi, I'm Jerry and yesterday evening I prayed to God to help me change my life and some amazing stuff happened today. One thing was I found this site. I am a porn addict and masturbate all the time. I need to give this vicious circle up as it is killing me. I don't have much to write at the moment but the following link leads to a BBC radio 4 broadcast which was sent a few hours ago. I hope some of you will find it interesting. I've decided not to masturbate today.
Jerry

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00glc5z

Here we begin, with another attempt at recovery. I actually don't like the way that sounds, as it's a reminder of the many failed attempts that I've made in the past. During the last relapse, I was amazed at what was going on (less than an hour ago?). There I was engaging in the behavior with even more intensity than last time. Thinking, "how the hell am I going to undo this now?" There is always the feeling as if I'm subconsciously trying to dig myself in deeper, to the point of no return.