Ok, So today was a bit interesting, as I expected it would get harder and it did. (5:53pm) July 24th was the last time I O'ed.
At around noon, I had an urge to watch porn and masturbate. I however didn't, I was about to so close, and I just kept giving myself reasons not to.

I've been completely porn-sober since March. March was my second slip-up after a four to six month period of success.

Well, I thought I was doing really well. In reality of course, compared to my past I am doing really well. Mustn't forget that.

Wasn't sure where to post this so just stuck it here on my blog. Last week here in the UK the 3rd series of The Sex Education Show was just on channel4. Those episodes are availble online in the uk for anyone interested, although I expect anyone reading this will already be well aware of everything thats covered in the programs.

When we have an addiction the brain creates neural pathways. Because of these well formed pathways the recovery becomes difficult.
Is there any direct way of altering the pathways other than behavioral modifications or de-addiction programs ? Like some kind of quick heal which could erase the unwanted pathways ?

Finding it hard work today, I have alot of sexual tension this week and it seems to be getting to me. I know I must remain pure and strong.

I keep attempting to begin my blog, I start and never seem to make much sense, usually it is through writing that I find understanding and clarity. This topic though is still bouncing around in my brain. I am a married 40ish American German and Swedish woman living on the West coast.

About a week ago, I was feeling kind of moody. I had been working hard, and shifting a lot of habits (eating, sleeping, exercise, for e.g.) at once is not easy. My wife and I were bickering a little, and she asked me if I wanted to have an "O". "Would it make you feel better?" she asked. I had to be honest, and let her know that I expected that it would provide some relief, but it would be short lived. I didn't want cave into temptation just because I was feeling moody. It didn't seem right, and I didn't think I would like the outcome.

Recently I came upon a variety of information on self control; I hope that some of the information here is useful to you.

1. Self control has been proven (by neurologists) to be something that you can strengthen like a mental muscle, by gradually increasing the self control you exercise over time you can achieve greater self control, but its wise not to overdo it because...

Marnia made a comment on another blog about not liking to use guilt as a motivator for changing behaviors. I believe I know what she meant, and I don't really think I'm contradicting that thought, but I did want to explore this further. I think because there's more to this than meets the eye when it comes to guilt. So bear with me while I "think out loud" for a bit.