Marnia made a comment on another blog about not liking to use guilt as a motivator for changing behaviors. I believe I know what she meant, and I don't really think I'm contradicting that thought, but I did want to explore this further. I think because there's more to this than meets the eye when it comes to guilt. So bear with me while I "think out loud" for a bit.

Radical Love & Relationship Workshop
Thurs., March 4th at 6:30PM
The Ugly Mug Cafe
4640 Soquel Dr., Soquel, CA 95073
Tel: 831.477.1341 (Alex)
$20-10, sliding scale, Everyone welcome
Map info: http://www.cafeugly.com/

WORKSHOP DESCRIPTION:

This is a post I've thought about recently, but have been a little reluctant to write. For two reasons.

One, this isn't a site about religion, specifically Christianity. Yet, the topic does come up here and there, tonight in a post from Marina concerning one theory of history. (Which I would have a hard time swallowing, but that's another issue and not where I want to go here.)

I wanted to get an overview of folks responses to a question/observation I've had.

I've heard much of my life about avoiding having orgasms builds a "sexual energy." I recall at one sales meeting that it was mentioned as a way to spend your energy on selling than on sex, and that sex drained your energy for that from you. And there are comments on this site about the relationship of energy gained by avoiding orgasm.

Radical Love & Relationship Workshop
Thurs., Feb. 4th at 7PM
AK PRESS
674 A 23rd Street (near MLK), Oakland, CA 94612
Tel: (510)208-1700
$15-10, sliding scale, Everyone welcome
http://www.akpress.org/

WORKSHOP DESCRIPTION:

Hello, dear all!

Two and half years ago I found that web site and I was fascinated! Several days ago i saw the book of Marnia "Peace between the sheets" in Sofia, Bulgaria, in Bulgarian language! Wow! i bought it in this very instant, of course and read it within two-three days!

I would like to share my experience:

Its a short, positive article by someone who overcame thier addiction. It might be a good read for people who are struggling.

http://www.bukisa.com/articles/122233_how-i-finally-managed-to-conquer-s...

"Women who experience vaginal (rather than clitoral) orgasm have, 'greater satisfaction with their sex life, mental health, relationships with both partners and friends, and life in general,' according to a new study that is stirring longstanding anxieties about the nature of the female orgasm.

"And women could have more of them if they received better sex education in their youth, were more focused in bed, and in some cases, had lovers with bigger penises, according to the report.

Moved

I'm looking for some pointers for having sex the first time with a new partner.

I found that with some partners it clicked right away, but more often it has to grow. And I was always wondering if we should talk about sex before we do it, or just do it. What do you think? And what is a good time for first sex (first date, 10th date)?