Something I may have realized while performing Karezza is that I have been off balance with regards to the minds expectations of just how heated up one must get to have relaxed intercourse.

Hi, Marina and everyone.

I stumbled onto this extraordinary site a couple days ago when I googled for information on Oxytocin . . . and am so glad of the blessed discovery (of this web site!)

I had devoted the whole of this past year, 2009, to focus on the personal relationship aspect of my life . . . to seek out a suitable prospect and create a possible life-long relationship with him . . . the year was ended with success It was an eventful (at times painful) odyssey, yet I finally found my prince (and my prince found me . . . love must be mutual, right?)

So here I am looking at Karezza and thinking this is absolutely the way to go forward. I buy the book, make sure my wife sees it, open up the subject a bit and the response was - "We need to let go and just flow like we used to and stop with all this theory."

Well, I put out for it and it came to me. I found a partner with who I could practice Dual Cultivation. Its the term I prefer.

The way we started was based on Marnias recommendations in her books, but I found them a little too structured. We were not living together, but managed to spend most of the first two weeks sleeping together and not naked. I cant even say it has been too difficult keeping away from the red zone and avoiding the urge to fertilize.

Instead of having intercourse last night, I asked if we could spend some time talking about what our feelings are with our new lifestyle.....

No issues on the wife's part. She really loves it! She does not miss orgasm and has no desire to have any more. I asked about that, as she had extremely powerful orgasms in the past. For me, they were quite fun to participate in and watch! I asked how she could be so powerfully orgasmic, but not want them any more. She said they left her wiped out for days afterwards! I never knew that. She said orgasm is just not worth it for her......

My life along this path continues to get better. I am calmer and less attached. We're having less sex and the really scary part is that it's kind of OK. I'm doing the bonding stuff as often as I can but still haven't got to the 5 Morita's (http://www.reuniting.info/wisdom/buddhist_morita_marital_therapy). The problem I'm having is with the passivity and uninvolvement of my Isadora while I'm doing the very passive karezza. I'm cuddling and feeling good while she's bored and doing the shopping list in her head. I can bring her to me with hot sex but that is not my desire.

Some background - I never saw my father hug anyone other than my mother, and even that was rare and in private. That's how I grew up. That's what I passed on to my son. My son has reached the age where parents are generally an embarrassment, best avoided and definitely not hugged.

But I've changed. Now I'm the one who wants a hug.

Interesting coincidence - I'm working on a script / story focusing on a married couple, who are actually in love. Then today, the random Ecstatic Exchange that came up was about sculpting your partner. It is very close to one of my scenes. Here it is--I hope you like it :

Here is a link to extensive notes collected by a man in Finland.

If you have time and like history, you may enjoy reading about those who recommended this practice through history, including Muslims, early Christians and others. It begins with a lot of material about the Catholic Church's condemnation of Karezza.

Link to notes

Hi, this is my first post. I don't see how to set up a blog, If I get one of those I may give some more background. I am about halfway through the book (bought it after lots of lurking on this site, reading the book, and watching Marnia and her husband's videos).