karezza

♥Karezza in Four Easy Steps (for men)

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karezza by L. Kevin Johnson

Note: This article is written specifically for men. But it is helpful for women to understand what a man needs to accomplish in order for them both to experience mutual, sexual harmony. Therefore it is recommended that couples work on the process together. It takes time to wean off the “mating sex” program and regularly engage in bonding behaviors, such as Karezza, with lots of cuddling in-between, holding hands, affectionate hugs, etc., before our brains start to rewire and build receptors that will enable us to experience the enjoyable effects of oxytocin, the “love hormone.”

♥Making sexy stuff, being there, and taking turns initiating whatever

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This would be Sparkle's day 15 post-O and good things happened for whatever reason.

I am more and more a believer in the passion cycle, at least for my wife. I've kept a detailed journal and although it is early days, I can see something to this for sure.

So anyway, she was in charge today. Up to her to initiate or not initiate. We are at the moment taking turns day by day.

She said she was much more comfortable today. I didn't pressure her today.

♥ this bonding stuff works

Last night we had a cuddling session and I heated it up a bit. This led to PIV and I didn't orgasm but Sparkles had a very quiet small orgasm that kinda crept up on her. Intercourse lasted about 15 minutes.

I almost came but resisted which wasn't difficult actually. I whispered to her that I was ready to go over the edge and I think she slowed down and it was subtle movements anyway. She came strictly from vaginal contact as there was no clitoral stimulation.

♥ How do you go from cuddling to sexual arousal without the usual sexual tension escalation?

I wrote in I Get Turned On Just Cuddling that I get aroused with cuddling quite often. And I sometimes drip a bit of clear liquid from my penis, I suppose it's precum.

I also find that I am very sensitive to touch and when Sparkles really touches me in a soft way, and I'm talking non erotically, like on the chest or my back, several times I have experienced what feels like an orgasm almost, more of a low key rolling orgasm that is not accompanied by an erection or ejaculation. It's pretty cool actually.

BUT...

Better Than Orgasm by Stanley Bass

[I wrote this almost a year ago (mid February 2011). I don’t think I posted it as I can’t find it. Life was a bit crazy shortly after this so it must have slipped through. How true my last sentence proved.]

♥ Okay, a little frustrated

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I arrived home from a business trip and tonight we cuddled.

After awhile, Sparkles asked if I wanted to penetrate. I said, did she want me to. She said, "you don't understand, I don't have the drive you have."

I said, I didn't want to do that if she didn't want to, and why was she asking if I wanted to.

"Because you want to"

"No, I don't want intercourse with you unless you want it," I said. "I want to be welcomed in."

"You don't understand. I don't have the powerful drive you do."

♥ Karezza, wow wow wow, sudden deep contact

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Okay, we've been snuggling and cuddling each day and each night, I would say 30 minutes to an hour. I have been leaving things to her and not being needy or pressuring in any way I am aware of.

So this morning Sparkles and I were snuggling and I felt a very close connection. And after about 30 minutes or so, I said, can I plug in, and she said yes. I just whispered to her a suggestion to give presence to her vagina and it was an amazing experience for me.

breasts sensitivity, ticklishness before arousal

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The Tantric Sex books by Diana Richardson say that breasts are the gateway to stimulation for women as opposed to clitoral stimulation. What if a woman's breasts are very sensitive or ticklish? Is there any way to desensitize or does this ever change? It seems to be not a problem once a woman is sufficiently aroused, but my question is about breast sensitivity/ticklishness before that happens...

♥just hangin' out, naked cuddles, patience

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I think Sood said something about a naked cuddle and that's what we've been doing. It's pretty ace to be honest.

I am leaving everything to my lovely Sparkles.

Whatever happens or doesn't is up to her.

I recognize that all these years things have been pretty male dominated. When I was done, we were done. And so forth. So now it's changed.

sood's picture

♥ Twenty four

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It's been a while since I posted. Progress is slow. Unlike most people who try Karezza, and take to it like a duck to water, I - we - seem to be stuck in the slow lane. However, one thing has changed. Little by little, I'm losing interest in having orgasms. Initially, every Karezza encounter I had found me split down the middle, my better self struggling with my lizard for control.

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