Been brooding over the fact that my ex (son's mom) is trying to get under my skin via text. Basically she's trying to pawn my son off on me, and since I have relatives in town she feels that she can pawn him off on them. Without consideration for the fact that I did off work around 11 Sunday night, so I the next day watched him from 7ish to noon. Then day after 7:30am to 12ish. So she tried pushing my buttons by typing in all caps to rudely ask me when I'm going to watch him. So, I told her I'd let her know if my schedule changes.

I've been feeling passive and unmotivated lately. I've also had some mood spells, feeling depressed, restless or just "off". I don't feel like being social and I'm having stronger cravings. I'm still keeping the beast at bay though. Hopefully this will all pass...I have family coming in from out of town so I hope my mood will change in the next few hours.

6 weeks over and going strong without porn. In fact i don't have any idea of seeing porn as I started to enjoy life without it. I get plenty of time to sleep and I sleep completely with less distrubance, spend time with my wife and work on my drawing and painting hobby. We are following carezza and bonding techniques. I had orgasm with my wife twice last week, so lost concentration and awareness for few days. My wife reminded me of my loss of awareness and I understood that and now trying to be aware.

Hi - I know there is alot here about withdrawal symptoms and I just wanted to see if anyone had experienced these -
Vivid dreams - re-running the same events? Telling an ex-girlfriend and partner what I really think know. Moments from playing rugby.
Deep sleep - waking with an a feeling that I can only describe as 'odd'
Big headache. Tight jaw and my back teeth hurt - top and bottom. I am aware that I am clench the jaw muscles without realising.
Would be interested to hear.

Its been a while I have not updated my blog. I am recovering from some stomach bug. I thought it was a pain that comes due to porn de-addiction but My doctor concluded that it is a viral infection. I sometimes still have that urge to look at computer and check e mails obsessively. My wife reminds me of this often and I tend to notice it too and be alert. I spend spare time learning to draw and paint and the rest with my family.

Feeling moody, woke up and I was okay. Met up with my ex's mom to watch my son for 3 hours. She was polite and civil. It was very hot outside(so I didn't didn't want to take him to the park) so we just stayed around the mall. He had alot of fun with the rides. So then later, his great grandad showed up to take him to his house. The conversation was civil, the only thing that bothered me after that was that he asked me if I had work. Which I didn't have work today.

Day 17. Today i have been feeling okay, urges still there but more or less just bored and lazy...which causes me to think about porn, and with it being just a click away. Will update later tonight, going horseback riding and then to church time with good friends. will update tonight with how my mood has changed throughout the day.

Its been 3 days now, we tried karezza for 2 days and found that since we have not tried it for such a long time (2 hrs or more) it gives my wife a pain in the lower abdomen, I am not sure if this is normal or not. So we left karezza for few days now and will try it later for smaller duration first and then planned to go further.I need to mention here that I orgasmed once while doing karezza 2 days back, it was little disappointing for my wife and me but we laughed it off with some fun.

The weekend was very happening. We went to a BBQ party at my friends home and enjoyed the evening with fun and games. I could see that socialisation helps me a lot to come out of this addiction fast.

So, I've been recording my voice and working on my vocal projection, articulation of words and overall delivery. I'm soft spoken and I need to break that (as a man especially!). I've had bad experiences where people thought I was the push over type. Often times they'd say I was too laid back or too calm. Which brings up another topic: during my childhood I was played on ritalin because, the teacher said I was a disturbance. But I personally remember days where I was just not interested in math. Yet I was very artistic, always drawing.