Desire

For those who believe (accept?) that our species is sexually promiscuous and that social monogamy is a cultural phenomenon, it would seem necessary to think about two problems. First, why would social monogamy arise in apparent contradiction to the biological tendency? One possible answer:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/andrewbrown/2010/jul/26/religion...

the last time i had orgasm I held back, I can have an orgasm, and not release the dump of what feels like a dose of a great drug. It feels good, but i can still talk and walk and move around. So the husband was in the mood friday, i tried to deflect and stay up, he stayed up, so its against my nature to deny my man of any pleasure. He performs oral, and it took me some time but I had a controlled nice O. I was good. I told him I was afraid to, that I didn’t want that release. As though I had put him up to a challenge, I swear he was after it.

I keep attempting to begin my blog, I start and never seem to make much sense, usually it is through writing that I find understanding and clarity. This topic though is still bouncing around in my brain. I am a married 40ish American German and Swedish woman living on the West coast.

I'm decorating my house for Christmas dancing to christmasmusic (I'll think I've gotten enough of it in a month, but for now it's just great) with Santa or what else I've got of ornaments...and felt the desire.
The Desire to life. The Desire to happyness. The Desire to love. The Desire to feel the man in my dreams....
I do have this very special, wonderful man of my dreams - he isn't just here right now. There is going a week or so before I'm in his arms again.
I want to touch his soul...I think I'm touching it now.... :-)