couples

I figured it was time to post a blog entry about my ongoing efforts to introduce karezza lovemaking to my marriage where my wife has zero interest in sexual activity of any kind.

The longer we practice Karezza together, the more we heal... in ways we didn't know we needed to heal. We have had so many long conversations, mostly going into details about his past porn use. It's painful to talk about these things, but it's easier now that we are more neurochemically balanced. I always thought that most of the healing was being done by him, since he was the porn user and I was not.

Had an O last night... I was only half awake, having some flirty dreams (no sex, just kissing my husband's back and getting a lot of attention from other men who were writing poems for me, etc) and I reach down there thinking "I'll try that tantric masturbation thing that worked so well for my husband". But orgasm was pretty unavoidable at that point, because I didn't realize how aroused I was. My PC muscles went CRAZY during the orgasm, which is only something that has happened to me a handful of times since puberty.

Well, I've made it 4 weeks without orgasm. I'm not sure I've ever gone that long. It certainly sounds like a long time to me! It seems especially impressive considering that my wife and I have been having sex pretty much daily. Last time I experimented with no orgasms, I couldn't help having one maybe every 3 or 4 times we had sex; this time around I must be learning my lessons- it is getting easier and easier and I am not experiencing built-up tension. I've been experimenting with giving myself hypno-suggestions like "you never feel the need to orgasm... there is no orgasm...

I have had two experiences that might be valley orgasms, but they did not have the bliss or fusion that is described, for example, in the article on magnetic sex. I sought neither experience and in both instances just kept relaxing during periods of fairly high sexual arousal. Waves that felt like releases came over me but did not exhaust me, sate me, or make me less interested at that moment or later in karezza.

Does this description also fit for you for some experiences? Might these be one type of valley orgasm?

Today is week seven of experimenting with Karezza and increased bonding behaviors. My fiancee and I are in such a great place since we've started this. We seem to be in a place of sustained "in-love" feelings instead of just once in a while feeling those feelings. We're having a lot of fun with this even though it's been a little more difficult for me to stop masturbating. I wake up masturbating (still not orgasming) rather frequently as compared to before starting this experiment.

It has been very interesting for me to contemplate the Taoist image of the boat and pilot and these words from CPA, Exchange Nineteen:

Quote:

The pilot uses kisses, touches, and the gentle movements of his body next to her to make her feel loved...Her sole responsibility is to relax and enjoy his creative touches and affectionate generosity...although she is welcome to offer nurturing, affectionate touch.