masturbation

First Post - 26 Days In, Adrenal Fatigue

Hello all! I have been reading blogs and message board posts on this forum for a couple of months now, and have finally decided to start sharing my journey.

I am a 24 year old male who has been addicted to porn and masturbation since I was at least 12 years old. I used to masturbate just about every day, and sometimes several times a day. I started off masturbating to soft core porn, and progressed to straight up sex videos. I also have masturbated in the shower to images of women I have known in my head.

What Porn Taught Me: Part 2

So far so good on the reboot trail. It's been three days so far since my very brief relapse and I've been fairly good at ignoring urges and just keeping busy. However, I did put a lot more thought into what porn did to me and I feel a follow up to the last blog is needed to finish expressing how I feel about porn and why I want to remove myself from it forever.

Porn and Novelty: My Thoughts

Thus Far

Well it's been a week so far and it's been an imperfect week. That's fine, relapse don't mean a whole lot and I know that I just need to keep on going. I've considered this week a week of testing the waters more so then anything else... interestingly (and after reading most of ybop) I have managed to draw a few conclusions about what I feel are my problems at hand.

1. Lack of Libido

Confessed addiction to a girl

This is my 12th day of the quit and I have been feeling really aggressive and open to the world.

There has been this girl who i've been getting close to over the internet, i really like her and she likes me too. She has been wanting to meet me for a long time but i keep turning her down because of my anxiety, addiction and ED troubles. Today she mentioned to me about meeting up this is where i confessed...

Day 11 Feelings & Withdrawal

I'm 19 years old and started PMO at age 12. All the way through middle and high school i've been shy, introverted and suffered social anxiety - I didn't connect to anyone even though deep inside I wanted to make good bonds. I've always thought I was abnormal and blamed it on genetic causes up untill i came across this website.

25 years old, male and struggling

I have been addicted to internet porn and masturbation for as long as I can remember, I think it was since I was 15. It just started over normal porn (penetration and straight porn mainly), nothing deviant, extreme or of a fetish nature, but over the years i developed a taste for more fetish/extreme material, particularly lesbian porn with an anal/domination theme - analingus, face-sitting and anal penetration by one of the girls, usually the dominatrix.

sexual attraction vs sexual arousal?

Okay this is where my therapist really got me confused. What is the difference between these two terms? I know what sexual arousal is....it is when my wee wee gets hard. But what does sexual attraction mean? If sexual arousal = sexual attraction...that must mean I am sexually attracted to porn.

Avoid periods of inactivity when you would have PMOed

Community topics: 

I am out of town in a hotel on the road.

In the old days, like several months ago, this would have been a big PMO thing for me because of all the time I have without my wife and without other things going on.

Idleness is the devil's playground.

I thought about this a lot. I had to go on my trip and it'll be a great trip but it also is a great PMO temptation.

In my case, I simply won't succomb to that. I'll be reading, exercising, eating breakfast, ironing my shirt, and eventually it'll be time to go to my meeting.

But it's a challenge when you have nothing much to do.

Interesting remark

Community topics: 

I don't know if anyone noticed the same or I'm in some kind of delusion, but since I quit masturbating and porn some men tend to make some small acts by which they are trying to "put me down" though I didn't even make a word with them. I don't know how to act. I'm not an aggressive type. Will see...

Been down, time to go up

Ok, I've gotta rethink my strategy. My longest streak while attempting a reboot is 2 weeks. I messed up again today, sorting through some older things of mine brought up some old porn pictures I had forgotten, needless to say it spiraled out of control, this was day 3 of a new reboot. The worst part is that I felt like an observer when it started happened, I was telling myself no, but it's like another me was in charge. It sucked, I felt so worthless that i couldn't control myself.

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