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| Habit to Harmony Forum |

These pages of this recent book (The Brain That Changes Itself) by psychiatrist Norman Doidge are very relevant to porn addiction, and also, if you keep reading, to how and why oxytocin (connection with others) can help reset the brain:
For more on the book: http://books.google.com/books?id=XvPHiN61mg4C&pg=PA108&dq=%22the+brain+t...
just wondering, how does fantasy fit in to the who issue related to Masturbation, orgasm, porn ect?
Main question: How to bond (and stay in love) if your partner moved abroad and you cannot see each other for months?
Hello and very pleased to meet you. I am not in an actual marriage but didn't find a better subforum to ask my question.
On day 10 and feeling like smiling! However, I think my body is telling me to slow down a little. Thursday I did a leg workout, which is much, much better when you have this resevior of power. I was able to lift more weight than ever. It left me justifiably physically tired. The problem is I still had this undercurrent of energy! Weird. Even after meditating, I slept a bit restelessly and went to work the next morning, ran some errands, and went into a bookstore. It hit me there, my eyes starting gazing over, even the coffee only helped a little. When I finally got home, I CRASHED!
Still doing well, if a more than a little tired and cranky. It's been a crazy week at work and tomorrow is going to prove to be a real bear and I feel that I may be tempted to revert back to my old familiar ways of coping with stress...namely porn and masturbation. But, as I have still not heard from my old nemesis, The Beast, in a few days, I think I'll be better able to chill out with a beer and my TIVO'd episodes of "Poker After Dark" (sounds like a porn title...
)
Step 2 is my next set of goals which wills span three weeks, starting with 3/1/10. This thread will track my progress.
Goals for Step 2:

I am not going to kid myself - while my recent return to aversion bubble solo binge behavior is not of the magnitude that such binges often were in the past, I am essentially guilty of binge behavior in the form of 3 episodes over the weekend - the 3rd was Sunday (yesterday), and therefore I am little more than 24 hours out of the last episode. Yes, I know that some times for many of us even a day or two - or even a few hours sometimes - is a success/positive step.
Marnia made a comment on another blog about not liking to use guilt as a motivator for changing behaviors. I believe I know what she meant, and I don't really think I'm contradicting that thought, but I did want to explore this further. I think because there's more to this than meets the eye when it comes to guilt. So bear with me while I "think out loud" for a bit.

My wife, now 8 months pregnant, looked particularly appealing to me this morning. I like her curviness, and I think carrying the baby around has toned her legs. I told her: "Hey honey, it is day 21". This was our previous goal. I haven't had an O in three weeks now, and I think she likely goes back farther than that, albeit for different reasons. Her response: "Oh my goodness!" For good reason, I think her focus has been on other things.
This is a post I've thought about recently, but have been a little reluctant to write. For two reasons.
One, this isn't a site about religion, specifically Christianity. Yet, the topic does come up here and there, tonight in a post from Marina concerning one theory of history. (Which I would have a hard time swallowing, but that's another issue and not where I want to go here.)