Cupid's Poisoned Arrow Topics

Did addiction politics leave us stranded on a slippery slope?

Ever wonder why the brains of pathological gamblers, food addicts and video-game addicts have been studied, yet no one has studied the brains of porn addicts? We've certainly wondered—especially as one often hears the claim that the absence of studies is "proof" that porn addiction/sex addiction is a myth (even though clients and patients are increasingly complaining of being hooked on both).

Recently, we learned why brain-science research on porn and sex addiction is practically nonexistent.

A steady drip of oxytocin may help sustain relationship harmony

Ever read about how frequent orgasm will benefit your relationship (or your health) because oxytocin (the "love hormone") is released at climax? Let's look at this claim more closely, because there's evidently more to the story. After all, if orgasm were glue, our culture wouldn't have drifted toward hooking-up as orgasms became more plentiful. And every john would be in love with his hooker.

New research overturns commonly held beliefs about men

Regardless how many sexual partners you've had, you may still benefit from figuring out the extent to which you're wired for pair bonding. Being a pair-bonder, by the way, doesn't guarantee "happily ever after." It means socially monogamous: having the capacity to fall in love and the desire to bond, at least for a time. In contrast, most mammal species are like bonobo chimps and rats; they mate and move on. The reasons for the differences lie in brain structure.

Despite our capacity for promiscuity, we humans are a pair-bonding species. It shows up in our powerful hankering for touch and ongoing companionship—and makes perfect sense, as our offspring benefit from parents who hang around with each other for more than one estrous cycle. (For a solid analysis of human pair bonding, see "Your Sexy Brain" in The Compass of Pleasure.) As with any trait, however, there are always outliers (atypical individuals). So how do you know where you are on the pair-bonder spectrum? And what does it mean in terms of finding contentment?