This website is about relationships, spirituality and sexuality. It's based on the rather startling premise that fertilization-driven sex creates an unsuspected problem for humanity...beyond the obvious crises of overpopulation, environmental devastation, and widespread starvation. Yet the message of this site is one of hope. Humankind possesses untapped potential for harmony and wellbeing through the medium of intimate relationships.

For centuries, even millennia, the message that great potential lies in making love gently, with frequent relaxing pauses, and without indulging our passion-trigger has bubbled up repeatedly. For example, the ancient Chinese Taoists, the earliest Christians (whom scholars label "Gnostics"), and even assorted American social pioneers beginning in the late 19th century all allude to the unmistakable benefits of controlled sexual union.

To learn more, read any of the articles listed in the left-hand menu, any of these sacred sex texts (many available free, on-line at this site), or have a look at these excerpts from various source materials.

Website visitors of a metaphysical bent can find excerpts from Edgar Cayce's readings (more on Cayce and sacred sex), A Course in Miracles, and other sources equally intriguing here.

Freed by the sexual revolution, most of us have branded any suggestion that there are advantages in self-control as "sex negative." Yet, these voices from the past were quite sex-positive and relationship-positive. They were, however, strongly opposed to the separation that usually erupts between passionate lovers and to the excesses of sexual addiction. They reported major benefits from evading humankind's biological programming while tapping the hidden potential in sexual union.

In light of the recent work of evolutionary biologists, neuroscientists, psychologists, and anthropologists, these elders' advice merits earnest consideration. Evolutionary biologists emphasize the "selfishness" of our genes, making it clear that mother nature's goal is hordes of progeny (and lots of variety), not lasting harmony. Neuroscientists reveal the neurochemical fluctuations that may account for our urge to separate after sex. Psychologists teach us that we are prone to project our state of mind onto others, which means that recurring emotional and neurochemical fluctuations, even perfectly natural ones, can radically change the way we see our partners. And anthropologists confirm that the urges toward separation and infidelity exist across a wide spectrum of cultures, both primitive and sophisticated.

At last we can observe humanity's circumstances with a minimum of religious and social distortion. The picture is not pretty, but at least it is plain. Humanity has a weak link in its design when it comes to mating behavior. It's not a flaw from evolutionary biology's viewpoint, but it routinely erodes our well-being and happiness by weakening our capacity for monogamy.

In light of the glaring evidence of this weak-point, you might think that humanity would be open to a possible solution...however unorthodox. Unfortunately, a primitive part of the human brain is programmed to disregard any suggestion that lovemaking without orgasm could be satisfying. My husband and I, of course, began with the same conviction. Yet, to our amazement, lovemaking without orgasm is satisfying. It's not only satisfying, it's healing, just as the sages recorded.

Those who are to have intercourse with one another will be satisfied with the intercourse. And as if it were a burden, they leave behind them the annoyance of physical desire and they do not separate from each other. They become a single life….For they were originally joined to one another when they were with God. This marriage brings them back together again. [1]

Who knows? Maybe the emotional alienation between the sexes is indeed a spiritual anchor. Perhaps it effectively keeps us from sustaining the deep sense of wholeness so prized in all great spiritual traditions. The consistency with which biological sex destroys peace of mind is the reason most spiritual seekers have concluded that sexual desire contributes powerfully to illusion (spiritual blindness). Most of humanity has assumed that celibacy was the only option. Yet source materials from the past (even some ascribed to Jesus) suggest that the synergy gained through careful union has far more to offer.

The earth was round and revolved around the sun long before experts acknowledged these facts. Perhaps humankind may one day recognize that by using sex less than optimally it has been suffering unnecessarily for a long time.