Another Way of Making Love?
Chinese Taoist master Lao Tzu calls it "angelic intercourse." The author of the Gospel of Philip1 calls it "undefiled intercourse," or, the "pure embrace." J. William Lloyd calls it "the soul-blending embrace." The Tibetan Buddhists call it "controlled indulgence." Alice Bunker Stockham, MD calls it "Karezza," or "finding the kingdom of heaven in your own hearts."
Cayce referred to it as an "exaltation that comes from association of kindred bodies." The key concept is that wellbeing and spiritual growth result from conserving and exchanging sexual energy during intercourse (ideally between complementary mates who share an inspired common purpose).2 Hidden risks, however, stem from — to use Cayce's terminology — self-gratification of the carnal, or reproductive, impulse.3 I suggest that if we think of this impulse as orgasm, it sheds much light on the Cayce readings about the links between sex, the endocrine system, and spiritualizing desire.4
The hidden risks from passion (the drive to orgasm) arise from an unconscious script lurking in the limbic system — a primitive part of every mammalian brain. Here our neuroendocrine system programs us to fall in love with intense passion, form temporary attachments, reproduce…and then move on, either the next mating season or in a serially monogamous fashion. If you ever wondered why no animal species are sexually monogamous, now you know.5 Changing mates improves the genetic variety of offspring, enhancing genes' chances of survival, and even rare pair bonders like us feel this pressure sometimes even if we choose to remain monogamous.
I'll come back to the physiological mechanics of our fraught mating program after we look at what Cayce had to say about it. But first, do the Cayce readings point to controlled intercourse as a means of cleansing the reproductive urge? We know from the readings that sexual relations can give rise to the highest vibrations that can be experienced in the material world. Yet sexual relationships are also the basis of what is termed "original sin."6 This, Cayce says, means that we easily misconstrue and misinterpret our sexual experience, just as Eve did.7
Could it be that we are tempted to interpret conventional orgasm as a spiritual experience due to its intensity and potential for causing pregnancy, and therefore fail to realize that it actually has the power to lower our spiritual sights? In fact, as we'll see in a moment, Cayce's source taught that we could be tapping far more exalted experiences in our intimacy than conventional orgasm permits. And there are indeed physiological reasons why conventional orgasm interferes with spiritual vision.
Cayce's source offers a key to help us understand. It says that it is control of sexual relations, rather than being controlled by them, which permits awareness of spiritual intent and purpose.8 And that we should cultivate spiritual, mental and physical desire, rather than the "carnal desires that are only gratified for the moment."9 This is not a small shift. In fact, the readings acknowledge that we must completely change our physical desires and aims if we would purify sexual desire, balance the endocrine system, and awaken spiritually.10 11
Perhaps the most direct Cayce material on the question of whether intercourse without orgasm has a role to play in purification is reading 364-6. It states that in a relationship devoted to a higher purpose it is possible to retain the sexual essence, which becomes a potent force for good. As Cayce explained,
the exaltation that comes from the union of kindred bodies whose lives are consecrated in purposefulness grants the ability to retain the essence of creation in virile bodies. This retained essence becomes the fire that lights truth, love, hope, patience, peace and harmony. 12
Self-control is a natural outcome, not a strain. The more constructively we use our sexual desire, the less is our desire for orgasm, or as Cayce calls it, "the carnal, physical reaction."13 To offer perspective, Dr. Stockham, author of a century-old book Karezza: Ethics of Marriage, describes this same experience this way,
During a lengthy period of perfect control, the whole being of each is merged into the other, and an exquisite exaltation experienced. This may be accompanied by a quiet motion, entirely under subordination of the will, so that the thrill of passion for either may not go beyond a pleasurable exchange. … With abundant time and mutual reciprocity the interchange becomes satisfactory and complete without emission or crisis. In the course of an hour the physical tension subsides, the spiritual exaltation increases, and not uncommonly visions of a transcendent life are seen and consciousness of new powers experienced. 14
Ancient Chinese Taoist Lao Tzu describes it this way:
Angelic intercourse is led by the spirit rather than the sexual organs…. Where ordinary intercourse unites sex organs with sex organs, angelic cultivation unites spirit with spirit, mind with mind, and every cell of one body with every cell of the other body. … Culminating not in dissolution but in integration, it is an opportunity for a man and woman to [refine their fire upward and] mutually transform and uplift each other into the realm of bliss and wholeness. 15
I think of the experience as "melting." My husband once called it, "mushing together." One modern author described it this way,
Suddenly we both seemed to be floating in an unbounded space filled with warmth and light. The boundaries between our bodies dissolved and, along with them, the distinctions between man and woman. We were one. The experience became timeless, and we seemed to remain like this forever. There was no need to have an orgasm. There was no need even to 'make love.' There was nothing to do, nothing to achieve. We were in ecstasy.16
- 1. One of the ancient Christian, so-called gnostic gospels found in Upper Egypt in the 1940's
- 2. 364-6, 364-7
- 3. p. 53, 281-57
- 4. We can also have a carnal relationship with other aspects of this reproductive urge, such as the blind impulse to have a baby for the wrong reasons (more below). 457-10
- 6. 911-5
- 7. p. 57, 281-63
- 8. 911-5
- 9. 911-7
- 11. As each soul completely changes its physical desires and aims, it experiences a new vision and comprehension. Those who have put away earthly desires enter a holy place. (p. 28, 281-37)
- 12. Moreover, this force is ever the key to firing the imaginations of those gifted in depicting the high emotions of human experience in any medium. 364-6
- 13. 2072-16
- 14. Karezza: Ethics of Marriage, by Alice Bunker Stockham, MD (1903) pp. 25-6
- 15. Hua Hu Ching : Unknown Teachings of Lao Tzu , trans. Brian Walker, Harper SanFrancisco (1995), p.88, 
- 16. The Art of Sexual Ecstasy by M. Anand, Jeremy P. Tarcher/Putnam (1989)