Islamic Sources

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The Qur’an

The goal is not physical pleasure; but a psycho-spiritual union where both man and woman become 'garments' for each other as the Holy Quran states. Become One; and know thy Lord.

"God made man and woman to complete each other, as the day completes the night."

"According to the God’s Messenger sex between married couple is not any lecherous attitude but is a ’sadaqa’ - worship through giving. This is something which raises human beings above the animal level.

Instead of treating sex life as a means to satisfy one’s physical gratification, it is regarded as an act of pleasing the Almighty by unselfish care for one’s life partner. Marriage is something sacred, which requires sincerity, respect and true love between a husband and wife so as to attain happiness and mental peace."--Bhawana Negi

See also How can there be Sacred Sex in Islam?

Excerpt from "Bezels of Wisdom"

(Collection of Sufi wisdom by mystic Ibn al-`Arabi, 1165-1240 C.E.)[1]

Man/Woman Love

Sufi symbol

The Greatest Spiritual Master of Sufism, met his earthly Venus in the person of his teacher's daughter, Nizam.

When a man loves a woman, he seeks union with her, that is to say the most complete union possible in love, and there is in the elemental sphere no greater union than that between the sexes. [Man's] contemplation of the Reality in woman is the most complete and perfect. . . . Contemplation of the Reality without formal support is not possible. . . . Since, therefore, some form of support is necessary, the best and most perfect kind is the contemplation of God in woman. The greatest union is that between man and woman (Ibn al-`Arabi, 1980: 274-5).

Here is some commentary by John Ryan Haule:

God appears in the objects that he has created, and erotic love provides us the most powerful vision we can attain, enabling us to see through the fleshly object that attracts our eye to the Ultimate Reality lying beyond. Sufism calls this fana', passing away, annihilation. We pass away from the ego's reality in the persona field and pass through our beloved to realize God. This is not God "in Himself," Who is beyond all direct knowing, but God perceived in and through a created being. We need the "support" of a perceptible being in order to gain access to the transcendent realm. The highest form of this, for Ibn al-`Arabi, is the union between a man and a woman in erotic trance.

Also by Ibn al-`Arabi

The divine lover is spirit without body;
The physical lover is body without spirit;
The spiritual lover possesses spirit and body.

Excerpt from "Disciplining the Soul: Breaking the Two Desires"

(Collection of spirtual techniques adopted by classical Islam, by Abu Hamid al-Ghazali 1058-1111 C.E.)[2]

It is clear that Al-Ghazali had no insight into sexual alchemy, believing, as he did, that "women are half of Satan's army." He did, however, leave behind some colorful descriptions of the problems with passion:

It has been said that 'an erection results in the loss of two-thirds of the intelligence.'...

The desire for women...may become so extreme in some cases that two foul habits are acquired. Firstly, [a man] may partake of something which makes him desire to have intercourse more often, just as some people take certain drugs which strengthen the stomach and allow them to eat more of the things which they desire. This resembles nothing so much as a man tormented by savage beasts and snakes which sleep from time to time, but which he find methods of awakening and arousing, and then has to make his peace with. For the desires for food and intercourse are in reality pains, which a man would rather be free of so as to gain another form of delight....

The second thing is that in the case of some misguided people this desire may end in amorous passion, which constitutes utter ignorance of the intended purpose of sexual congress, and a descent to a level lower than that of the animals. For such people are not content merely to gratify their lust, which is the unsightliest of all desires and the one of which a man should most be embarrassed, but instead believe that their lust can only be satisfied by one person.....Amorous passion is nothing but a wellspring of excessive sexual desire, and is the disease of an empty and unconcerned heart.....To break the power of amorous passion in its early stages is like pulling at the reins of a riding-beast when it heads for a gate it would like to enter; to rein it back is a very easy thing, whereas to treat such a passion after it has taken hold of one is like letting the beast go in, and then catching it by its tail and pulling it from behind: a much more difficult task. One should therefore take precautions at the onset of these things, for later they can only be treated with an effort so intense as almost to lead to death.

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  1. Bezels of Wisdom were given to Ibn-al-Arabi in a dream:

    "I saw the Apostle of God in a visitation He had in his hand a book and he said to me, 'This is the book of the bezels of Wisdom; take it and bring it to men that they might benefit from it.'" The book portrays the wisdom of love through Abraham, of the unseen through Job, of light through Joseph, of intimacy through Elias and so on. In one of his poems he stated, "Love is the creed I hold: wherever turns His camels, Love is still my creed and faith."

  2. Disciplining the Soul: Breaking the Two Desires by Al-Ghazali, the Islamic Texts Society, Cambridge (1995)