I've been keeping a diary of our sex life. I've also kept tabs on our moods. Until recently, the last orgasm I had was more two months ago. During that time, my wife had three orgasms. We've just gone through a major hiccup, with orgasms coming thick and fast. One of mine was a wet dream, which I haven't had for ages. I think it was inevitable. I was beginning to feel like a ball of dough that couldn't rise any further; something had to give.
One of the reasons I am blogging here in such detail is primarily for myself. But also I think it can prove helpful to guys reading this at some point, a tidbit here or there.
I started here to deal with a porn habit and quickly came to the realization that now is the best time for me to really discover sex and answers to sexual questions that I've had since or before puberty.
I studied and read over many old posts on this site and really went into depth by reading different people's experiences not just with porn addiction recovery but also Karezza.
Tried the first time to just relax into intercourse. Just forget my erection, who cares, sick of worrying about all that, let things happen as they are supposed to. Trust the penis, as I said in another blog entry.
Trust that it knows what to do. How delightful.
I can't say it was any different so far, but it was more relaxing. I felt kind of like snuggling but I had an erection at the same time. It was a lot better than snuggling, I'm not comparing the two, but I had that relaxing feeling of closeness while also having intercourse.
I'd become very needy and demanding since I quit masturbating and porn and started bonding behaviors with my wife.
I think the reason is that I want something.
That's always what it is, bottom line. You want something. So you try to get it.
I mean, it's kinda understandable. Surprisingly I'm not as eternally horny as I would have thought. We are doing a lot of daily bonding and that satiates my horniness to a great degree.
But there is something far deeper that I yearn for.
Wondering how to convince your guy to try karezza for a while?
Today I wasn't feeling well and I hung around. Sparkles hung around too. I fasted because that helps me get over being sick quicker.
This afternoon I was laying around and Sparkles joined me. I got quickly aroused and she said I could connect which I did. It felt great as always but we aren't really into the very satisfying territory in our intercourse.
And the reason is clear from what developed.
So after about 15 minutes we lay together. She told me that she wasn't really into it but didn't feel comfortable saying no to intercourse.
Once again, the brain science presented in CPA has provided me with tremendous support and allowed me to be more understanding and supportive. My friend has just lost a loved one and is in deep grief, and this after going through months of work related stress.
Tonight we had our second round of intercourse. Lay down to rest and one thing led to another. She initiated this time and then I could tell she was going to cum and I said, "don't cum" and that did not make her happy. I guess I screwed up. Shouldn't have said anything. My bad. She said she no longer felt like it and that I was controlling. And that she already feels funny that I don't orgasm.
We'll get there. It was nice she initiated. We are in day 10 from when she had her last O. Now I feel like a bum.
Thanks for reading.
If you are old enough to order mixed drinks in a beachy restaurant perhaps you have seen the drink, Sex On The Beach.
Well, this isn't about that.
My wife and I are Karezza newbies and yesterday I wanted to report something really fun. We were holding hands on the beach and I could feel energy from her hands going into my body and I had this mini orgasm for a period just walking on the beach. It was pretty cool. I didn't have a full on erection but my penis was a bit full, nothing embarrassing and I wasn't in my mini Speedo either :P fortunately.
It's been maybe 60 days and I haven't once masturbated.
If you had asked me NOT to masturbate for 60 days in a row, anytime in the past, I would have said, are you NUTS?
Masturbation helped me go to sleep. It made me feel less like bothering my wife for sex she didn't want to have (you know, a woman with a weaker sex drive wink wink). Before marriage it made it far more manageable to be single and hardly ever be with a woman in any way.
But, it's been 60 days and I don't miss it at ALL.