Frank's blog


Submitted by Frank on

1:40 PM 11/10/2007

After a relapse that occured last month, I've not committed myself seriously to overcoming addiction. The whole month has been a failure, both at school and in personal life.

I want to answer the question: how sincere am I in attempting to achieve freedom from addiction?

First, I need to know what sincerity is. Sincere means genuine. A sincere attempt to perform an activity means that the doer has an unfailing desire to do the task, and does not give up despite failures in attempting his endeavour.

The power of perspective

Submitted by Frank on

For most of the past week, it was like I was stuck up, immobilized, in this small egg, an other world, comprising solely of hopeless worries about when I'm ever going to get out of all this crap, this trap. It was like an unending battle against this huge strong wall that had been built up, these big chains that I'm tied to, that I somehow can't break and be free.

Ten Reasons

Submitted by Frank on


1. I become conscious, truthful and self-controlled with intellect and conscience as my clear guide.
2. I follow the path of celibacy and live an intellectual life of strength, power and freedom. I overcome ignorance and laziness and follow the path of the Light of Virtue.
3. I become peaceful, fearless, courageous, and strongly motivated by intellectual reasons.
4. I gain balance and coherence in my life. I gain physical, emotional, mental and spiritual strength and power.

What an addiction really is

Submitted by Frank on

In the past few days, I've noticed that I've come to be slightly more conscious of myself and how the environment affects me. It's really difficult to grow towards self-consciousness -- to be fully aware and honest -- really difficult. I can only say I've taken a tiny little step, but I'm glad it's in the right direction.

Levels of consciousness

Submitted by Frank on

With a lot of saving, I was able to buy this book: Power vs Force by David Hawkins. It presents a linear hierarchy the levels of human consciousness. From low to high, the levels of consciousness are: shame, guilt, apathy, grief, fear, desire, anger, pride, courage, neutrality, willingness, acceptance, reason, love, joy, peace, enlightenment. No one really is stuck in one level, they shift through 3-4 levels throughout the week. What's important to note is which level you shift to when you're feeling pressurized or stressed.

Controlling at the crucial moment

Submitted by Frank on

During the last 3 days of abstinence, there was virtually no reminding of the benefits of abstinence and the positive programming, I just left it on auto-pilot, mainly because I was so busy meeting relatives and other small things to do. Here's what I was writing today. I've censored it, so it won't catch the wrong kind of attention, but not too much because it has to convey what I felt.

12:16 PM 9/16/2007

Alright now I have some urges coming on and I'm almost on the verge of beginning to see porn... THIS is the moment that I get caught on everytime.

Anthem for Recovery Process

Submitted by Frank on

I have decided to have an Anthem for My Recovery Process, which I will hear and keep in mind every day. The song I found suits the purpose in both lyrics and sound. If you hear it, you'll notice that the first half of the song is fully rajasic (loud metal). The next half is traditional Indian music with an electric guitar as background and it gives a very sattvic effect. So, it's ideal for a person who wishes to get out of the tamasic state of mind.