Members' Blogs

Struggling

Submitted by thelongrun on

Hey folks,
Have not checked in for a bit. Been a very stressful weekend. Changes to our living arrangements are coming soon and though I am not consiously upset about it - I've accepted it and I thought I was at peace with it - I am having a hard time with anxiety and sleep.
I have slipped again. No orgasms but visual slipping. I don't feel good. I feel anxious and underlying I feel guilty and like I let myself down.
I know I can pick myself up and dust me off but it does not feel good.

Becoming a Man in a Boy's World.

Submitted by m00ede02 on

I used to look at porn frequently since I was 10 years old (after finding my dad's videos) and since 2004, i haven't indulged - nor have I felt the helpless state of not being able to control myself. However, when it comes to masturbation, it's a different story. These last three weeks have been horrible in this regard. I feel weak and shameful that i find myself so addicted to this self-soothing strategy.

Thanksgiving

hotspring's picture
Submitted by hotspring on

I'm not super into Thanksgiving as a Holiday but I am into taking the time for giving thanks any and everytime. I can't believe I just replied to thelongrun's post on meditation and forgot to mention the one most crucial, basic, important part of a spiritual practice: GIVING THANKS.

So thank you to all of you for your sharing of your paths and for overcoming your addictions for the sake of yourselves and the whole.

Turn the page

Submitted by thelongrun on

Today we turned the page on our relationship. We talked to they boys. They took it very well, asked some decent questions, and understood that we love them and will be a family even if a different shape. I could not have scripted it to go any better.
As horrible as it is to break up a family, or change it, getting the conversation over is freeing. I have been carrying a heavy yoke. I've known it and have been looking forward to it being lifted.

Doing Better with some help

Submitted by looking4balance on

Many thanks for Jorgen (indirectly as it was a suggestion in someone else's post) but I have been really committing to a lecture series on working with the mind and creating new paradigms while shedding old beliefs. The website has lots of great articles and mp3 and the best thing is, its really just common sense and sound practical advice, nothing esoteric or mystical. Listening at night before bed and doing the exercises throughout the day is a real help. I started slipping pretty bad there, but was able to turn it around. Thanks Jorgen for that!

Love...

Submitted by thelongrun on

I love you all! Your karma and support is just so magical. I wish I could bottle it and sprinkle it around.
Pat yourself on the back. Your participation in this group is worthy.

Vulnerability

Submitted by thelongrun on

Amanju has opened a lot for me. Thanks for your support and your leads to wisdom. I will have to look into it more and not be so resistant. I am in survival mode in a lot of parts of my life, some of it is my ego that needs to go. Some of it is just straight out getting through this low patch so I can see and think more clearly - get the muck off my soul.

This is not going well

hotspring's picture
Submitted by hotspring on

He is having a raving migraine right now and writing emails that paint me as a dogmatist. I realize this isn't really giving him fair expression, but here are a few excerpts for the sake of brevity:

"so many boundaries, strictures and stipulations
and if only this much is enough to fracture you from us
swallow ones self expression for the sake of another's complete ideology
would not meet me half way
your intensity and severity
i'm out of luck and should look elsewhere
no middle path
bible of regulations
begin to feel as the subjugate
cut-out perfect for your ambitions

My Spirituality

Submitted by thelongrun on

Where is my spirituality in all of this? I have never been a big practicer of spiritual practices or faith development. I feel there is a God that is evident in so many ways. I don't interact directly (through prayer) for myself as I think it is vain to think there is someone up there who is going to respond to our wishes and needs directly.

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