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one magical moment

Submitted by looking4balance on

Hey all.. :)

Read this in some sexual addiction literature and strongly identified with it. It describes a certain type of sex addict
Craving/seeking: Validation, Erotic highs. distraction, One magical sexual attachment that will heal all wounds

Attracted to: “Hot” people for validation, Stable others who will care for them

Impersonal sex: Seeking instant validation with “perfect” others who are then found to be imperfect, resulting in serial, non-intimate relationships.


sood's picture
Submitted by sood on


We made love as we had done the previous few times, with great pleasure but containing our excitement. On the allotted time, I felt sated, and said to my wife that maybe it would be good to stop. She muttered something about carrying on for a short while, just in case she climaxed. Clearly, she had forgotten our prior agreement. So, too, had I, as I watched the 'considerate lover' in me leap into action, assuring her of an orgasm while also indulging in my own.

I guess the one good point is that I was ready to stop earlier.

Triggers, temptations and turmoil

Submitted by Frank on

Although I've declared counting number of days to be "unofficial", today is the 15th day of abstinence. I've got control over my actions -- I can refrain from masturbating/ejaculating -- but I don't have control over my thoughts. I currently have the self-control to not fantasize, but somehow if I notice a woman in a magazine or on the street, I somehow feel so attracted that traces of guilt and shame emerge. I look at the woman, trying to remove the attraction mechanism inside me.

mind and heart together

Submitted by looking4balance on

I am noticing when I add compassion (heart) to aid in the struggle in quiting porn and ceasing to use women for sexual pleasure only (or dopamine hits or self esteem boost, or whatever) its of great benefit. Compassion mostly for the person who I am about the objectify, the person who I know wants more than just sex, but might do it in hopes of it becoming more when I know there is no relationship wanted on my end.

On the edge of temptation

Submitted by Frank on

Today is the 9th day of abstinence, and somehow the enthusiasm I had for going to straight 30 days of abstinence minimum is fading. Of course, initially I started out thinking that I will *never* surrender to the temptation but a few days later I compromised it to "30 days first, and other plans later". At this moment, I am undergoing temptation to watch pornography, and well it is quite a temptation. The whole hormonal sexual system just fires up in times of stress like this (although today's Sunday, I have a lot of pending assignments) and just shuts down the rational mind completely.