I haven't masturbated much since I last posted. I sucessfully abstained from orgasm once and felt no loss at all from it. Another time I did have an orgasm but it was of a very different sort. I noticed that when I was breathe in, the anterior wall of my vagina, where the g-spot is, expands, and when I breathe out, it contracts. This is without any intentional muscle movement. I'm learning how linked deep breathing is to high states of ecstatic bliss.
When I was younger I practically held my breath when I masturbated, and noticed then that I didn't feel much ecstatic energy when I breathed deeply. Probably I was more focused then on the clitoral and up and inward pulling sensations alone and didn't know how to balance them with the outward pouring ones (and by this I don't necessarily mean ejaculation, tho that is the extreme version of it. still, there is a gentle releasing and vulnerability when the uterus is pushed down and the muscles are expanded rather than contracted, that is very open and lovely, and which is a balance to the upward pulling).