Hello all -
For men with the rare disorder Post-Orgasmic Illness Syndrome, orgasms can lead to days of physical and psychological misery
Hiding errant boners during surprise Game of Thrones sex scenes is a familiar scenario for many men; for David,* though, the consequences of arousal are more consequential than embarrassment.
Hi there! It’s been quite a while that I participated in this forum. Part of the reason is that, for most of the past couple years, I lived at a Christian center in the US, and the internet connection there filters out this website.
(emerson) I know this is difficult, but it's a romantic fantasy that people are going to "get" this up front. However, once you practice this sex with them, even if they are not, the magic happens. This is my preferred recommendation these days. Open mindedness happens when you are the example. Expecting to find someone already into this is like impossible. But someone receptive...well that's different.
I was watching a show from the UK called Fleabag, episode 2, and it actually addresses Karezza and lovemaking versus "fucking"...first time I've seen someone in a show get this right and address the issue. Point is, though, that you first meet someone, then you have sex, and you don't orgasm, and they get intrigued, and things evolve. That's how I see it. Anything else is doomed.
The worst way to explain it to a man is to say "it's like sex but you don't have an orgasm." Who wants that???? I also don't like the "affectionate gentle intercourse" angle, as that never seemed appealing when I was on the dopamine train. But if you say "you prolong sex, have lots of sexual intercourse, and delay your ejaculation for a long time and sometimes don't even bother ejaculating so you are always ready...and you get this amazing sensitivity and pleasure throughout your whole body" that can sell guys. Or at least the right guys.
In a way, I wish I'd never learned of Karezza. It's basically made it so that I'm not interested in a partnership unless it includes this kind of connection. That's not a bad thing. It's just that it renders the information useless to me, unless you consider that it's kept me from the heartbreak of another failed relationship.
I hoped to at least be able to raise awareness of the practice to enhance the partnerships of others, but no one wants to hear about it, in my experience.
May the rest of you have better luck.
My girlfriend has a subscription to "Psychology Today" magazine, appropriate for a therapist. Even before we lived together I would look at her copy of the magazine and read an article here or there—really annoys her when I start reading it before she gets a chance to. I have suggested that maybe she needs therapy to work on that annoyance. She suggested that maybe I needed to be less of a smartass.
So it's been awhile since I've posted on this site. In the three years since I last blogged I've had a lot of victory over masturbation and the inevitable fallout. In late 2013/2014 I went for 5 months without bringing myself to ejaculation. It was a long hard road and since then I'll occasionally go for 2-3 month dry spells. I was also in a relationship where I experienced the power of affectionate touch. Such peace and contentment....and the incredible sleep I would have after I would cuddle with my sweetheart.
A forum member shared this 2010 item with me. It's written by a Belgian named Philppe De Coster. Here's an excerpt, with his take on karezza:
Another way of experiencing spirituality in sex is by focusing on feeling in harmony and united with your partner on different energy levels. This is like a sexual meditation.