This is harder than I remember. I went over one hundred days on my first reboot. I guess my motivation isn't as strong now...
Look in no way shape or form I'm not happy to admit it but today I relapsed. No binge but I'm still set back...I really want to stop this but I keep relapsing. Well here we go again.
I'm a 21 year old female, knowledgeable about karezza and despairing about my chances of finding a suitable partner. My previous relationship taught me how important sex is by all that it lacked. My ex and I had conventional sex and only he experienced orgasm, we had sex two or three times daily for a 10 day period, with breaks when we were fighting or broken up. I knew I was in trouble when he said it was the best sex he ever had, while I was completely underwhelmed by the gyrating performance and immediate letdown afterwards that we call sex. This was my firt time having sex.
or at least trying to. My wife is resisting my efforts to reconnect with her sexually. I don't blame her. For years I complained to her for not contributing to our sexual activities more...mostly being a passive recipient of my efforts. I would be the one getting her off, and I would be the one getting me off too. Of course, being rather desensitized by PMO, expecting her to get me off was not exactly reasonable.
I am sorry I don't mean to make this out like I am just looking for a girlfriend BUT it all gets so theoretical since I don't have one. I mean I have a long distance 'relationship' with a woman in England but nobody here. I am really intrigued and interested in the ideas in the Cupid book...................but feel very alone here. Any ideas
Today I relapsed on PMO again. Last night I had sex with a friend and we ended up staying up late and waking up early. I felt very tired during the day which made me not want to go out, I was by the computer and my curiosity led me back to PMO. If I am not involved in PMO, I am desperately looking for either a girl I can fall in love with, or a woman who I can just have sex with and had no emotional connection. I feel the only way to get through this is to totally change my lifestyle and weekly routine. I have some questions, that I would love some answers too...
My computer is becoming quite unstable (It overheats unexpectedly and I can't figure out why (It's very old)). So it looks like its time to get a replacement.
I can't spend long on the internet anymore, so you might not hear from me for a while.
Just thought I'd let you know.
and some older history.
I am not contributing here and don't feel like I am wanted . I really felt like I was stumbling in the dark as for the rebooting and karezza information as there are other issues involved so I am gonna take my dead ass to the Y and do some physical rehabilitation if not making good use of my time here. yeah, thanks all for the encouragement , I believe I have gleaned all that I can for now. this is my last post here.
Today is day 24 no pmo which is two days away from tying my record. I feel stable and normal at this point. The "superpowers" have seemed to have faded a little but this may be because im on a new work schedule and im waking up at 6am and im extremely tired. Been having some sexual dreams but no wet dreams. Havent felt the need to fap at all. Ive been super busy with my new job tho. Itll be interesting to see how this weekend goes when im not waking up at 6am and im caught up on my sleep.