Never again!

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You know what the problem is with 'never again'? Never is a veeeery long time... A few days ago I set my goal at 100 days of abstinence before the end of the year. And I stick with that. But to make it seem more doable I'm first aiming for 14 days. No PMO until the 31st of March. It's a start, isn't it?

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never again may imply

never (something) again. in a sense it highlights what you DONT want . Is your goal simply PMO until a certain date. i'm assuming not. If your goal is to quit PMO period. I would also ask again is that your ultimate goal - perhaps ? If it is for instance to pursue a life where sex is with a beloved partner (for example) - and maybe it seems like an obvious ultimate goal i don't know - than it's interesting that you didn't mention that only what to ma read as a short term goal. While i appreciate the wisdom of 'one day at a time' it would seem easier to comquer the daily goals if there is a prize in sight.

Hey Breath,

Hey Breath,

Yes, the goal of no-pmo is part of a bigger plan. It looks something like this:

1) Kick the addiction to porn
2) Get back into shape. With that I mean:
- getting back in shape physically (I used to do a lot of sports but lately I am at least 10kg overweight),
- getting back in shape intellectually (I've had quite a good education and consider myself relatively bright. Yet, I spend so much time behind my computer I haven't read a decent book in years).
- getting back in shape emotionally (I am pretty social but lately I have been isolating myself and pushing away friends and family)
3) Figure out what I want to do with my life + find someone to share it with

This obviously is a simplified version of it, but yeah, it does fit into a bigger plan. The thing is though, it will take quite a while before I get there and I simply don't see any shortcuts to it. There are many things that I will need to change in my life to 'get back into shape' but at the moment the one big bottleneck is this porn-addiction. And I have tried to find my calling in life and a good partner to go through life with but I feel that right now it's not the real me. I'm only half I can be. So I first need to get back 'into shape'...

In my experience its best to focus on short-term goals. However, from time to time, you need to step back and make sure those short-term goals fit into the long-term picture.